The Self Loathing Handbook for Dummies
by LunarSpiral
Summary: Is our werewolf becoming a zombie? Has our vampire lost his mind? And, how far can they push each other, before things can never go back to the way they once were. Slash, AU, mentions of MPreg. Please Review.
1. Formulate

Contains AU, however; some themes carry over from the original work. I do not own any of these characters; I am just borrowing them.

"I don't like being like this," I said flustered, pacing the room and throwing my hands around spastically from time to time. "Do you know that?" I said abruptly, spinning on the ball of my foot to glare at Edward.

It was true, I honestly loathed being like this; I hated being so angry and vengeful all the time, but what could I do, this is who I was now. Times weren't always like this, in fact, once upon a time, I used to be, and dare I say it, pleasant! Compared to who I am now, I was little Miss sunshine back in those days. Oh well, it only frustrates me further to remember the "good old days."

I wouldn't say that I was currently unsatisfied with my life, I mean, the elements surrounding me are awesome, it's just, the problem with my life is me. I'm aware that I'm difficult to deal with, it's just, I have a hard time controlling my emotions, especially anger, and although I try, I don't know how to deal with it.

Edward tells me that I have been doing better, and assures me that my attitude problem isn't entirely my fault. I know that most of my volatile behavior stems from the changes my hormones underwent during my transformation.

Although I wish I could blame my attitude entirely on that, I can't; there are other things, things that I dwell on that make me crazy.

"I know…" he said softly, "I don't like it either, but it's getting better."

I was sick of hearing that it was getting better, so I glared at him harder. "When will it just not be at all?" I asked, frustrated that I couldn't control my own frustration.

"I don't know," he said simply, staring at the floor.

At that point, I had calmed down enough to at least sit down next to him on the powder blue sofa. I wasn't quite relaxed enough to lean back on one of the plush chocolate brown throw-pillows, so I sat as far on the edge as I could, slouching over with my elbows on my knees.

"Relax, you can lean back, it's not like I'm going to bite you," he said, not realizing the irony in his words, or maybe he did.

"I wish you would," I said darkly, "if you killed me then you wouldn't have to deal with me anymore, and no one else would either."

"That's enough," he spat, his earlier calmness disappearing faster then he or I could run. "The only one making yourself so miserable is you," he said quietly, but I could still hear the hint of annoyance in his tone. "Besides, I can't, it's against the rules, remember?" he added dryly.

"You just don't understand!" I said instantly on the defensive.

"I never said I understood, but how can I if you wont tell me," he replied, trying to stay calm.

"Why don't you just read my thoughts then, your so good at that!" I said, not able to look him in the eye.

"You know I refrain from doing that!" he spat, a little louder this time. "I want you to tell me what you want to tell me, I don't want you to keep anything from me, but if you do, that's your choice. I'm not going to try to ruin our relationship by reading your thoughts, that never turns out well." As he spoke the final sentence, he drew his face so close to mine that our noses almost touched.

"Fine," I said, as I closed my eyelids and leaned my forehead against his cool one. I was mentally exhausted from the events of the day and from thinking so much. "I'm tired," I told him, yawing involuntarily.

"Me too," he said with a chuckle, "well at least, if I could be tired, I know I would be right now."

He then grabbed one of the pillows and put it on his lap intending for me to lie on it, which I did willingly. But as I lay there staring at the ceiling, my thoughts were relentless, refusing to let me rest. I replayed the days events over and over in my head, trying to pinpoint the exact one that brought me to the boiling point, and what I could have done to stop myself from going to far.

The last thing I thought before I drifted into a fitful afternoon nap was that things weren't always as bad as they were on this day. In fact, this day was one of the worst that I could remember in recent time. I knew then that I did not want to have any more days even close to this one, so I began to formulate a plan to make sure things never got to this point again.


	2. The Buildup

Please let me know what you think.

Chapter 2

I was awoken almost an hour later by the feeling of Edwards phone vibrating from inside his pocket. I grabbed it from the pocket, seeing as I was closer to it, and handed it to him quickly.

"Your still not as quick as me" he teased before answering.

"Yes?" he answered, in his usual business-casual tone. It always amused me that he spoke so formally, you'd think the past few decades would have rubbed off on him by now.

"Ok, well I can be over in a few minutes" I heard him say before he flipped his phone closed.

"Where ya going?" I asked, sounding a little more eager then I had meant.

"Over to get the girls, Bella asked me if we cold get them a little early today."

"Oh, that's weird, usually she tries to keep them as long as possible," I said quizzically.

"Yeah, well she and Alice have to go do something "important"," he said, making finger quotes, something I noticed he had picked up from me.

I thought quickly to myself and smiled my best smile. "I can go get them," I said, standing up quickly.

"Really," I heard him ask as I ran to the bathroom to wash the sleep from my eyes. "You hate going to pick them up by yourself."

He was right, if I had to pick them up from Bella's, I rarely went alone for fear that I might run into Charlie. But today, bringing Edward with me wasn't an option. I knew he would get in the way of my plans, and this situation gave me the perfect chance to start on them right away. I needed o get my head far enough from Edwards, so he would have no idea what I was up to, because honestly, he would never allow it.

"Your up to something," he said. I could hear his voice getting louder as I finished washing my face. I turned around and saw that he had positioned himself in the doorway of the bathroom.

"Am not," I said as I dried my face. "I just miss them, that's all."

"It hasn't even been an entire day since you've seen them" he said informatively.

"So, I still miss them" I answered, trying to sound as normal as I could. At least that part was true; I did miss them every time they were gone more then an hour. The only part that wasn't true was what I would be doing once I got them. I was never one to lie to Edward, but this time I had to. If I wanted to make things better, I had to lie for the greater good.

As I finished getting myself ready, I tried to think of a million things so that just in case he did listen in, I would have a force field of thoughts blocking my real intentions. I wasn't sure if that strategy worked or not, but it was the only defense I had.

I didn't have to worry about the pack listening to my thoughts anymore; I guess you could say I was excommunicated, partially by their doing and partially by mine. But I didn't really like thinking about that, it was one of those things that if I dwelled on for to long would drive me crazy.

I squeezed passed Edward, who was still standing in the doorway and grabbed my jacket. It was early December and it had bee getting a little chilly, even for me.

"Alright," he said walking toward me, "we'll both go."

"NO!" I almost shrieked as I spun around to face him. This was not the time to be acting like a spaz, but leave it to me. "I mean, it's fine, I just want to spent a little time with them, you know, just me and them" I said, feeling guilty for involved my children in my scheme."

"O, Ok" he said, looking dejected.

I felt bad for upsetting him, but after today, I knew I would never upset him again,

"I'm sorry,' I said, walking over to where he stood. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Yeah," he replied; I could still tell that he was upset.

I closed the gap between us, embracing him in a tight hug. I needed to feel that he still loved me. After what I had put him through today, I was feeling guilty and insecure. I buried my face in the nape of his neck and hoped that he would respond with an affectionate gesture.

I was put at ease when he ran his hands up and down my back in a gentle manor. "I love you," he said softly into my ear.

I was pleasantly surprised by Edwards's sentiment. He was not the type of guys who felt the need to profess his love every five minutes, instead; he reserved the statement for the times when it held the most meaning.

"I love you too," I replied, giving him one last tight squeeze before grabbing my keys and heading out the door.

As I walked down the porch steps, I began to feel the cool December air blowing against my face. I quickly hopped in my car and began to drive the fifteen miniatures or so that it took to get to Bella's. As I drove, I hoped that what I was about to do was the right choice. I wasn't known for thinking things out very well before doing them; I just hoped that this time, things would work out for the best.

As I pulled up to Bella's, I saw her and Alice on the porch; the girls however, were nowhere in sight.

I clamed out of the car slowly, dreading the situation that I knew was about to unfold.

"Hey Jake!" Bella said from atop the porch.

"Hey," I said quickly, taking my usual position at the bottom of the steps against the rail; I dared go no further.

"Alice said she saw you coming at the last second," she spoke again.

"Yeah, I wanted to pick them up, spend some me and them time together," I said, not really looking at her in the eye. "So what's the important thing you and Alice have to do?" I asked, trying to take the focus off myself.

"We are going to do some Christmas shopping, it's getting kind of last minute, and you know me, I haven't really started yet," she replied.

"Yeah, me either, I've got like one thing so far," I said, glad to be on a light subject for once today.

"Oh, well do you want to go with me on Wednesday after class, it's been a while since we've done anything anyway."

"Sure, I'll need all the help I can get with that; I'll tell Edward he has dare care duty Wednesday evening" I said. I was glad to be doing something with Bella. Although we had a strange friendship, she was still one of the people I felt closest to. It had been a while since we had done anything together without children or significant others involved.

"So Jacob, what do you plan on doing with them today?" Alice abruptly asked. She was the one person, aside from Edward, who could ruin my plans, and if she found out, she'd definitely run and tell on me right away.

"I dono, ice cream, I have to stop by my Dad's, so I'll probably stop by your house, so Carlisle and Esme can see them too" I answered.

"Oh" she replied quickly, looking as though she didn't fully believe me. I wanted to ask her what her problem was, but I didn't feel like opening that can of worms today.

"Alice thinks you're up to something," Bella said after a few seconds of silence.

"Oh," I replied, not wanting to get in to the matter any further. "So where are they anyway, we should probably get going soon" I said, changing the subject.

"Oh, their just upstairs getting their stuff together; they should be down soon," Bella answered.

It felt like I had been standing there for an hour, but in reality, it had barely been five minutes since I had pulled into the driveway.

A few minutes later, the girls came outside, loaded down with way more stuff then one would need for spending one night.

"It's about time," I teased as they ran down the steps toward me.

"Sorry Jakey," Reneesme called as she ran down the steps towards me. About half way down, all the stuff she was carrying started pulling her forward. As she tried to catch her balance, I put my arm out to catch her.

"Thanks," she said putting her arms around my neck.

"Welcome, please be carful," I exclaimed, my heart pounding a little faster then normal.

"Kay, love you," she said, before wriggling out of my arms.

"Klutz," Willow, Reneesme's half sister called as she walked down the steps slowly, jumping gracefully down the final two for emphasis.

"Showoff," Reneesme said dryly, trudged off to the car.

As Reneesme headed towards the car, Willow came over and put her arms around my leg lightly.

"Hi," she said calmly, then headed towards the car as well. Willow wasn't the huggiest person, so I didn't take to much offence to her meager display of affection; I took what I could get and liked it.

"She's always so serious for a five-year-old," Alice observed.

"Yeah, she's five going on eight," I laughed, and started walking towards the car myself.

"See ya later Alice," I said.

"Bye Jake, be gook! " she called in a tone that was just a little to sweet.

As I walked to meet the girls in the car, Bella fell in beside me.

"Jake, are you Ok? You haven't seemed yourself lately," she asked.

"Yeah," I answered, my mind wondering a little.

"Yeah what?" she asked, sounding irritated.

"Yes! I'm fine, geez, why does everyone keep asking me that?" I said, feeling a little frustrated and anxious.

"Maybe because everyone else notices besides you," she said quietly. After a few seconds of silence, she spoke again. "Look Jake, I just want to make sure your Ok, so if you need to talk to me, I'm here," she said, making eye contact.

"Thanks Bella," I said calmly, feeling bad that I had snapped at her. "But, I'm fine, I promise."

"Ok, well I'll see you on Wednesday then," she said, as she went to say bye to the girls.

"K, see ya Wednesday," I said, about to climb into the drivers seat. As I opened my door, I saw Charlie walk onto the porch and wave to the girls.

"I thought the lesser of the two evils was coming," I heard him say to Bella.

I saw that she was about to protest, but I didn't stick around long enough to hear what she said.

As I pulled out of the driveway and turned onto the road, my mind wondered in different directions. I thought about my and Edwards's relationship, and how it had felt strained lately. I also thought about how I had been acting lately, and how after today, I would not act like that anymore. Finally, I thought about how I would go about getting what I needed from Carlisle. He was a very kind and giving person, so I thought that if I could give him a good enough explanation, he would help me out.

"I thought we were getting ice cream," willow said, breaking my train of thought.

"Who said anything about ice cream?" I asked, worried that she was able to read my thoughts now too.

"That's what we usually do on Sundays," she said in a matte-of-fact tone.

"Oh, well… we have to stop by your grandparents house first, then we can go," I said, trying to appease her.

"Fine," she sighed, leaning against the seat and crossing her arms.

"What, don't you want to go see your grandma and grandpa?" I asked teasingly.

"Yes, but I'd like some ice cream while doing it," she replied.

"Yeah, I want ice cream too," Reneesme chimed in.

"After!" I said, a little sharper then I had meant to. The thought of what I was about to ask Carlisle was making me edgy.

"Geez, chill out," Willow exclaimed dryly, accompanied by Reneesme giggling in the background.

"So where's dad?" Reneesme asked. Usually, we both came to pick them up from Bella's, or if one of us did, it was usually Edward, seeing as I didn't particularly like dealing with Charlie.

"He stayed home today," I replied.

"Why?" Willow asked.

"He just did I guess," I answered, not telling her that I had asked him to stay home.

"Dad doesn't love us anymore," Reneesme said, pretending to cry. She was the one with a flair for dramatics.

"You two are driving me crazy today," I said, running my hand through my hair. Instead of being quiet, they both started giggling from the back seat.

"Are we there yet?" Willow asked, intentionally trying to pester me now. They both continued laughing from the back seat.

"I think I'll just leave you guys here," I said jokingly as we pulled into the driveway.

As I stopped the car, they both ripped off their seatbelts and jumped out immediately.

As I approached the door, they were both standing there waiting.

"Slowpoke" Reneesme said as I rant the bell.

"When we get in here, I want you guys to go play, I have to talk to grandpa about something important OK?" I told them.

Before they could answer, Esme opened the door.

"Hi guys, I was wondering when to expect you today," she said as we walked in to the house.

"Oh, how did you know we were coming?" I asked, letting my nerves get the best of me. I hoped that Alice hadn't seen what was going to happen and spilt the beans.

"Daddy, we always come here on Sundays," Willow exclaimed with her hands on her hips.

"Don't worry, he's been acting weird today," Reneesme added.

"Are you alright Jacob," Esme asked with concern in her eyes.

"Yes, um, I've just been feeling a little off, I was thinking that I might talk to Carlisle about it, is he home today?" I asked, hoping that he was.

"Yes, he's upstairs in his office, go on up," she said, gesturing towards the stairs.

As I passed through the living room to get to the stairs, I walked pasted the rest of the family who were arguing over a football game on TV.

"Move it," Rosalie said and chucked a pillow at me as I walked in front of the screen.

I caught the pillow and handed it back to her, not really in the mood to joke around today.

"Your no fun," she stated dryly, and went back to watching the game.

"Aren't you going to watch?" Emmett asked as I reached the bottom of the steps.

"Uh, in a little bit, I have to go talk to Carlisle for a while," I said, running up the steps before I was bombarded with any more questions. It seemed like this day was dragging out, and I wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

As I walked down the hall towards Carlisle's office, I had the urge to run back in the other direction and abort the mission completely. But I knew for the sake of my and Edwards relationship, I had to go through with it.

I knocked on the door, and again, almost ran away.


	3. Secrets Behind Closed Doors

Let me know what you think please.

This chapter has references to MPreg, I think I have to say that :).

Chapter 3

"Come in," I heard Carlisle call.

Hesitantly, I opened the door and poked my head in. "Um, hi Carlisle, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something for a few minutes? I asked nervously.

"Sure Jacob, come in," he answered, and I could see the surprised look on his face, so I knew Alice hadn't told on me.

I came in and stood in front of his desk, not sure what to do next.

"Sit down Jacob," he said with a smile.

Once I was seated, he looked me in the eye.

"What's wrong Jake, I can sense something isn't right with you," he said seriously.

Before answering, I gripped both arms of the chair and looked down at the floor.

"I need you to help me, I think there is something wrong with me," I blurted out. Carlisle looked shocked at my sudden admission.

"Calm down Jake, tell me what's wrong?" he asked calmly.

"Lately, I have had a hard time controlling my emotions, especially anger. Once I got used to being a wolf, I got a lot better with controlling my temper, but now, it's getting worse again," I told him.

"Well Jake, you do have a lot of new things on your plate right now, kids, college, and of course, Edward is always there to bug you," he said, trying to lighten the mood.

"That's the thing,' I said, "kids and school don't bother me, Edward doesn't even bother me, but when I get mad about something, I always take it out on Edward. I used to have a hard time controlling my anger when it came to big things, but I was getting better, now I have no control over it weather it's a big thing or a small thing, and no matter what, I always take it out on him," I explained.

"Is that the only emotion you are having a problem with?" he asked seriously

"That is the main one, but once I'm done with being mad, I feel very sad and guilty. I know I should feel guilty, but the guilt and sadness lasts for days. I was never much of a crier, but now, I spend a lot of time crying," I told him.

"Have you told Edward about these feelings?" He asked.

"No, I don't want to have him worrying about it, you know how he gets. I just want to fix it, so no one will have to worry about it. I'm afraid that if I can't fix this, that our relationship may be in trouble," I admitted, a few tears falling onto my cheeks.

"Jacob, I've noticed a change in your behavior over the last few months, but I really didn't know how to bring it up. If I were to give a diagnosis, I'd say you are either suffering from Major Depressive Disorder or Postpartum Depression. However, I'm not sure weather to give a diagnosis or not," he explained.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because I think you may be having these problems because you have cut yourself off from everyone. I know you don't go visit your father much anymore and you have cut yourself off from the pack. Plus, Edward tells me you have been spending a lot of time at home, not really going out with friends or even him," he explained.

"Oh, well I don't really like how my Dad or the pack act around me, it's really awkward whenever I am around them. Plus, I don't really go out much anymore because I am so busy with school and taking care of everyone, so I don't think that has anything to do with how I am feeling," I told him, hoping he would drop the subject.

"So what exactly would you like me to do for you," he said slowly, I could tell he wished he were anywhere else at the moment.

"I want you to give me something to help me," I said bluntly, wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible.

Carlisle leaned back in his chair and put his hands over his eyes. "This puts me an awkward position Jacob," he sighed. "Couldn't you have went to someone else?" he asked. I could tell that he was half joking, but there was a small hint of seriousness in his voice.

"And what would I tell them, I'm an angry werewolf, can you please help me?"

"I suppose not," he said, looking through one of his medical bags. "So what made you decide to do this now?" he asked.

"This morning, Edward and I got into a pretty bad fight. Well actually, I got into a fight with Edward, and he was just kind of an innocent bystander," I replied.

"Well, what happened?" he urged, half from a medical standpoint and half because he was a concerned parent.

"Well, this morning, we went to the store while all the kids were gone. Everything was fine until I overheard some of the old ladies from town talking about Edward and I. They were whispering, but not very quietly. I heard them call me a home-wrecking whore, and then they were wondering who Edward would knock up next," I explained, feeling my face turn red just from talking about it.

"That's horrible," Carlisle exclaimed.

"Yeah, well I get that kind of thing a lot around here, I guess no one has anything else to talk about in this town. Some people even talk about me behind my back at school," I told him sadly.

"So, what happened after you heard them talking about you?" he asked.

"I asked Edward if he had heard them. He told me that he had, but wasn't going to worry about it. Sometimes he acts so nonchalant, I don't know if he cares about anything. Anyway, I was really upset about what I had overheard, and by the time we had checked out I felt like I was ready to explode. I was so mad about what those old ladies had said, and I was mad that Edward didn't care that I was upset; he didn't do anything to comfort me," I admitted.

"I know that he was upset by that," Carlisle told me. "I'm sure he probably just didn't want to cause a scene in the store."

"Yeah, I know, he's had over a hundred years of experience tuning people out, I guess I need to catch up," I said sadly.

"Jacob, don't worried about what people say, this is a small town and people like to talk," Carlisle said, trying to comfort me.

"Well once we got in the car, I was still mad, mostly because I thought Edward was acting really cold towards me. After a few minutes, his phone rang; I could tell it was someone from a class of his, because they were talking about a biology project. Once he got off the phone, I asked him who it was. When he told me that it was Corey Santos, I got even angrier; he knows I hate Corey," I hollered, surprising myself.

"Why do you hate this Corey so much," Carlisle asked, surprised at my outburst.

"Corey is always trying to spend time with Edward; anytime he needs help in their class, he runs right to Edward for help. He is always playing stupid, so he can get Edward's attention," I admitted, turning red. I realized then, that I was divulging some pretty personal details to Edwards father, so why stop now. "He's always coming over to our house to work on projects and stuff like that, and it's driving me crazy,' I finished.

"What happened after Corey called," Carlisle pressed.

"Nothing at first; we sat there in silence until the phone rang again. I saw that the name on the ID was Corey's again, and I kinda flipped out. I grabbed the phone from Edward, and started cussing at him and accusing him of all kinds of things, which I really don't want to repeat. I knew I was wrong for it, but I was just so mad. Anyway, he told me to stop or he was going to make me walk home, so; I threw his phone out the window," I said, looking down at the floor.

"Jacob, I understand your having some problems, but that is no reason to act the way you did," Carlisle said sternly, acting more like a father then a Doctor.

"I know," I moaned, "I didn't mean it, it just kind of happened."

"Well you need to work on that," Carlisle replied.

"I know," I said sheepishly.

"So what happened next?" he asked, and I could tell he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear it or not.

"He slammed on the breaks, got out of the car, and picked up his phone from the side of the road. When he got back, I was still sitting there. He told me that I wasn't going to be riding home with him, and that I needed to get out now, before he lost his temper. I accused him of wanting to be alone, so he could talk to Corey. After that, I jumped out of the car, ran into the woods and phased. I ran around for an hour or so before coming home," I finished.

"What happened once you got home?" Carlisle asked.

"Everything was a lot calmer, I apologized, and things were ok. That is when I decided that I needed to come and talk to you," I explained.

"Understandable," he replied, pulling something from a canvas bag.

"Look Jacob, I want to help you, but I am nervous to do so, because I don't want to lie to my son," he explained. "I know Edward is funny about this kind of thing, and would prefer if you took a more natural rout."

"And that would be?" I asked.

"Things like therapy, acupuncture, herbal supplements," he explained.

"Well, I don't really have time for therapy and all that stuff, I have a lot of other things going on right now," I told him. "And do herbal supplements really work?"

"They are largely untested," he explained. "So I am choosing to help you," he said with a sigh.

"Thanks Carlisle," I said, trying to contain my happiness a little.

"Where did you get this idea anyway?" he asked curiously.

"Intro to psych," I replied, my cheeks turning red.

He shook his head and slid something in my direction.

"This is a two week sample of something I think may be able to help you. I had brought it home to research this weekend, and I would like to give it a try," he explained.

"Thanks," I said quickly, sliding the cardboard package into my messenger bag. "I really appreciate you helping me Carlisle, I just want to make things better, you know?"

"I know Jacob, but these things aren't going to just fix everything, you're going to have to work at it too," he explained. "I want you to start visiting your dad, go out more and start treating Edward with more respect. After two weeks of that, along with the medication, I want you to come back and tell me how things are going, OK?" he asked.

"Ok," I answered softly, nodding my head. I was embarrassed that I had treated Edward so badly, and even more embarrassed that I had to tell his father about it. "I will."

"Good," he replied simply.

"Well, I guess I better go downstairs and see what the girls are doing; they're probably driving everyone crazy by now," I laughed as I stood up from the chair.

"Great, I'll go down and see them too," he sad. "Oh yes, and Jacob, one more thing."

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Please follow the instructions exactly as specified," he replied.

With that, we both walked out of his office and went down stairs.

As we walked into the kitchen, I saw both of the girls sitting at the table eating a huge bowl of ice cream loaded with every topping imaginable.

"Jacob," Esme scolded, "these girls tell me you have banned them from eating ice cream!"

I looked over at the girls who were giggling under faces full of chocolate syrup.

"Oh, whatever, they like to tell stories," I said, sitting down nest to them.

"Umm, this is so good," Reneesme said, looking over at me.

I playfully yanked the bowl from them and took a big bite.

"HEY!" the both shouted in unison.

"Well this is for me isn't it? You're not allowed to have ice cream, remember?" I laughed, and handed them back the bowl.

Once they had finished the ice cream, we said our goodbyes and headed to the car.

"Can't you guys stay a little longer?" Esme asked.

"We'll be back soon, I just have a few other things I have to do today," I replied.

"Alright, see you guys soon."

As I pulled out of the long driveway and turned onto the narrow road, I felt my phone vibrate. I reached into my bag and pulled it out.

"Hey," I said, seeing it was Edward.

"Hey," he replied. "Your dad called me; he was wondering if we could come get them now, he says they've started screaming and he can't take it anymore," Edward laughed.

"Yeah, I'll go get them, I guess his patience aren't what they used to be," I laughed.

"He had patience, when was that?" Edward teased, sounding like a little kid.

"Once upon a time," I replied dryly.

"Oh, well, he said that he had tried calling you, but you didn't pick up," Edward said; I could tell he was fishing for details.

"Oh, I guess I didn't hear it. We stopped by your parents, and I guess I didn't notice it ring," I explained.

"Oh, I'm glad you stopped by, they love seeing the girls." he replied.

"I know," I said

"Well, I'll have dinner for you guys when you get here, so hurry up!" he teased.

"Awesome, I'm starving," I replied, "I don't know if the girls will be hungry or not, your mom fed them a bowl of ice cream the size of the Grand Canyon."

"Gah, I hate it when she does that," he groaned.

"Yeah, well, I'll make them run around a little at my dad's, so hopefully they will be hungry by the time we get back," I replied.

"Alright," Edward laughed.

"I'll see you soon," I told him.

"Ok, see you soon."

"Hug," I said, and laughed.

"Hug," he laughed. "God, your so weird sometimes," he said before hanging up.

When I arrived at my dad's, it was early evening, and I could hear the babies screaming before we even went in.

Before I had time to knock, Reneesme barged inside.

"Hi grandpa," she announced, running over to him.

"Hey squirt," he said, ruffling her hair

"You're suppose to knock first," Willow informed her sister.

Reneesme stuck her tong out in response.

"You guys know you don't have to knock, you can come here whenever you want," my dad replied. "I'm actually glad you're hear now, I can't take these kids screaming anymore," he said, covering his ears.

I laughed; "how long have they been at it?" I asked.

"Almost two hours," he said, looking very tired.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, I didn't hear your call," I told him.

"That's ok son, I'm glad to see you," he told me.

"I'm glad to see you to dad," I replied. "So how were they, aside from the screaming?"

"They were great, I guess they just started missing you," he answered.

"Yeah, that's the first time they've spent the night anywhere, so they did pretty good," I said.

Reneesme then interrupted our conversation.

"Grandpa, do you have any ice cream?" she asked innocently.

"No, he doesn't," I said, before he had a chance to answer her.

"Oh Jake, they can have a little ice cream," he scolded.

"Yes, and they already have, a whole ton of it over at the Cullen's," I answered.

"Nice try," Willow said to her sister.

"You guys go play outside for a little bit, I want to calm the babies down, and I can't with you two in here arguing," I told them.

"Fine," Willow sighed, grabbing her sister and dragging her out the door.

Once they were outside, I sat on the loveseat and had my dad hand me the babies, so I could try to stop their screaming.

"Here, take them!" he teased.

As soon as he put them in my arms, they both quieted to a dull roar, and once I held them for a few minutes, they both drifted off to sleep. "See, they just missed me," I said.

"Yes, thank god you came when you did," he replied.

"So dad, I'm sorry I haven't really been around much, I've just been really busy with school and the kids," I told him, remembering what Carlisle had told me about visiting my dad more.

"It's ok Jake, I do wish you would come over more though," he replied.

"Yeah, I know, I just feel weird sometimes, you know? I said.

"Yes Jake, I know we have our differences, but I still love you and want to see you and the girls," he answered.

"Ok dad," I replied. After I got with Edward, things with my dad, hit he proverbial fan. He, along with the elders of the tribe thought I was putting the tribe in danger. The pack knew the Cullen's, and although they didn't like it much, they were nicer about it then the tribal elders.

After some time had passed, and nothing related to the Cullen's had harmed the tribe, things started to calm down. I started visiting my dad a little more, but I always felt some tension when I was around him.

""Well, do you need me to drive you anywhere this week?" I asked dad, breaking our silence. I knew he was getting older and his health wasn't the best. After I left, I knew he wasn't able to get out as much as he used to.

"Actually, yes," he smiled. "I have a Dr.'s appointment, and I'd like to stop and pick up some Christmas presents," he said. "I was going to ask someone from the tribe, but if you don't mind?" he trailed off.

"No, when is the appointment," I asked.

"Thursday at 10,"he answered.

"Cool, I'll pick you up after I take Reneesme to Kindergarten," I told him.

"Great," he said; I could tell this made him happy.

"So," he said, "did you and Cullen have a good time without all those kids?" he asked.

"Yeah we did," I half lied. Saturday night we had a great time. He took me out to eat, one of my favorite things. After that, we went home, watched a movie and made love for the first time in a while. With the babies, that part of our relationship was sometimes hard to keep up with.

"It's snowing,' Reneesme yelled, bursting through the door.

Immediately, the babies woke up and started howling.

"Do you have another volume besides loud," I grumped at her.

"Alright, dad, we should get going, I'm not the biggest fan of driving in the snow," I said.

"Alright, I'll see you Thursday," he replied.

"Go say bye to your grandpa while I put the babies in the car," I told the girls, before walking out the door.

Once we were in the car, the babies feel asleep along with Reneesme. Willow sat beside me in the front with a little smile on her face.

"Why ya smiling?" I asked.

"Grandpa gave us each 10 bucks, but I'm not suppose to tell you," she smiled.

"Awesome," I replied. "What are you going to do with it?"

"Well, I have six of the 10's he gave me, so I think I want to get something good; how much does a bike cost?" she asked.

"You'll need a few more, but your getting close," I told her. "How often does he give you guys 10's?"

"Every time," she laughed.

"What does Reneesme do with hers?" I asked curiously.

"Usually, she buys ice cream and candy, but I talked her into saving some, so now she has three 10's," she answered.

I laughed at how cute they were and pulled into our driveway.

"Finally home," I sighed; it had been one very long stressful day.

As I was about to get the babies out of the car, I saw that Edward had come outside, and was walking towards us; he wasn't wearing any shoes or socks, which made me laugh.

"Hey," he said, and put his arms around me. "Glad you're home."

"Me too," I yawned.

"Go inside, I'll bring them in," he said.

Once we were all inside, I went into the kitchen to see what was for dinner. I peeked into the pot, and was happy to see some spaghetti.

"Are you pleased?" Edward asked, coming up behind me.

"Yes!" I replied; spaghetti was one of my favorite things.

"Did the babies eat yet?" he asked.

"Yeah, I fed them at dad's," I answered.

"Ok, we'll I'm going to go put them in bed while you guys eat, I'll be down in a little while," he said.

While we ate, I noticed that Willow and I were eating pretty vigorously, while Reneesme picked at hers.

"What's wrong, don't you like it?" I asked Reneesme.

"I want ice cream," she said bluntly.

"You already had a lot of ice cream today, so you need to eat some real food now," I told her.

"No, I want ice cream," she said again.

"I said no, now eat!" I told her.

"I'm going to go tell Da-" she paused, as Edward walked into the kitchen.

"Tell me what?" he said, sitting across from Reneesme.

"I want ice cream," she said with a pout.

"Eat, or your going to bed right now," he said. He wasn't usually one to punish the girls, so when he did, they knew he meant it.

"Fine," she moaned, and finished most of the small portion.

"Is that good?" she asked him.

"I suppose," he replied.

"Can I have ice cream now?" she asked him.

He didn't answer her, instead; he looked at me questioningly.

"No, you already ate a mountain of it today," I told her.

"I thought it was the Grand Canyon," he laughed.

"Dad, can I," she asked, pretending like I hadn't said anything.

"What did Jacob just tell you?" he asked.

"No!" she said angrily.

"Then that's your answer, now go upstairs and get ready for your bath, I'll be up soon," he told her.

With that, she went stomping upstairs.

"You go too," Edward told Willow, a lot more calmly then he had told Reneesme.

"Ew, I don't want to share her dirt!" she said.

"Willow, you don't want to make me upset right now, now go," I told her sharply.

Without another word, she left Edward and I alone in the kitchen.

"They never listen," I whined, getting up from my seat to put the dishes in the dishwasher.

"Yeah, I think they need to get a bath and go right to bed; they always act intolerable when they are tired," he said, exasperatedly.

I laughed at his choice of words. "Yeah, they do," I agreed.

Once everyone had had a bath and was tucked in, I went into the bedroom Edward and I shared, and flopped on our bed.

"That took a while," he said, sitting down next to me.

"Yeah, well, they wanted me to read them two stories, one for each," I sighed.

"Well, I got you a bath ready while you were doing that, if you want it?" he said.

"Of course I do, but I don't know how I'll make it in there, I'm so tired," I said, placing my head on the bed and closing my eyelids.

"I guess that means I have to carry you in there?" he sighed playfully.

I didn't answer, instead; I just smiled while keeping my eyes shut.

Before carrying me into the bathroom, Edward rolled me onto my back and undressed me carefully.

"Ready," he asked.

"Yep," I replied, and put my arms around his neck.

He carried me into the bathroom and put me in the big tub full of bubbles.

"Are you getting in?" I asked him.

"Would you like me to come in?" he asked back.

"Get in here!" I told him.

I watched him undress and climb in beside me.

"Hi," he said, putting his arms around me.

We laid there in silence for a while, enjoying the relaxation that the bath provided.

"Edward," I said after a few minutes.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry about what happened today," I said softly.

"I know," he said sadly.

"I promise, it won't happen anymore," I told him.

"I hope not," he admitted.

I knew that tomorrow would be the start of a new life for me; I just wasn't sure exactly what that life would be.


	4. The Calm

Let me know what you think, this chapter was really hard for me to spit out for some reason.

Chapter 4

The next morning, I woke in my bed; I'm not really sure how I got there. I honestly don't even remember leaving the bathtub; I must have fallen asleep in there.

I rolled over and noticed that Edward wasn't next to me, so I looked at the clock. I was alarmed to see that it was five minutes till eight. Without another thought, I hopped out of bed, dressed in a pair of jeans and black thermal and went into the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, I saw that the girls were eating cereal at the table and the babies were in their seats drinking bottles.

"Morning," I said feeling grumpy, but trying to contain it.

"Morning," Edward answered, looking up from some paper he was reading.

"Edward, It's eight, how come you didn't wake me up?" I asked.

"I was going to wake you in a few minutes; I was trying to let you sleep," he answered.

"Thanks baby, but I have to take Reneesme to school, then go to class," I told him.

"I know, she's ready to go, so calm down," he said, pulling me into a hug.

Once I ate breakfast and got ready, I loaded everyone into the car and said goodbye to Edward. He had a job as a Teachers Assistant this semester, so he had to go in most days. I frowned as I thought about it. Corey was in one of the classes he TA'd for, and I hated it. I tried to put the thought out of my head as I drove. Things would get better soon; I just needed to get everyone where they needed to go first.

First, I dropped Renesme of at Kindergarten. "I'll come get you a little after noon," I told her, giving her a hug.

"Ok, love you Jake," she answered.

"Love you to," I told her, before driving away.

As I drove to the college, Willow interrupted my thoughts.

"Do I have to go to the daycare today?" she moaned. "Those kids in there are just plain dumb!"

"Yeah, you have to go," I told her. "I brought you some books and you can make me a Christmas list while your there."

"Ok," she said, sounding happy at the mention of Christmas.

After a few more minutes, I pulled into the college parking lot and got everyone out of the car. I hurried into the daycare the college provided it's student parents and sighed the three of them in. Immediately, the babies started crying.

"Calm down guys, I'll be back before you know it," I told them, picking them up from their seats. After rocking them for a while, they quieted, and I left for my own class.

"Keep and eye on them," I told Willow, before leaving.

"I will," she said and gave me one of her little hugs.

"That's not good enough today," I told her.

"Oh, fine!" she said, and hugged me tighter.

"Love you," I said.

"Love you too," she said dryly.

Once I got out of the daycare, I noticed that I had fifteen minutes until I had to be in class. Wanting to be alone for a few minutes, I hurried back to my car. Once inside, I unzipped my bag and took out the package Carlisle had given me. My hands shook as I read the directions carefully

_Take one tablet twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. Please consult your Dr. if you are currently taking any other medication. Do not mix this product with certain other medications, alcohol or illegal drugs. _

/That's not so hard, / I thought; who would do any of that anyway? I took the bottle of water I had in the cup holder, opened it and took the first one. Again, I hoped that I was making the right decision: I guess I'd find out soon enough.

After relaxing until the last minute possible, I got out of the car and walked to class. Thank god there was only one more week of classes left before Christmas break; to bad it had to be finals week, the most stressful week all semester. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad this year, now that I had a little help.

The class passed normally; I didn't notice much of a change, which I wasn't sure was a good thing or a bad thing.

As class ended, I got up quickly, ready to rescue the kids from the daycare they hated so much. I couldn't blame them; I wouldn't want to be stuck in there with a bunch of strict old ladies and screaming brats either.

"JACOB!" I heard a deep booming voice shout, as I was about to leave the room.

"What," I answered; I know I looked confused when I turned around and saw who was shouting at me. It was Derrick, Corey's boyfriend. He was a big meathead of a guy, how he ever got into college in the first place was s surprise to me.

"THIS!" he yelled, slamming down a crumpled paper on one of the desks.

I walked over to where the paper lay on the desk, and glanced at it. I noticed the handwriting right away; it was Edwards. Along the top of the page, written in red, was a large 69%. Under the grade, it read, "Please Review spelling, punctuation, grammar and organization."

"Who does that guy think he is? Now that he's a TA, he thinks he can just do whatever he wants. Now I might fail! Well, I know he only gave me that grade because he's jealous that I have Corey and he doesn't" Derrick said, just loud enough for the rest of the people lingering in the classroom to hear.

"Whatever Derrick, I can see at least ten problems on the first page alone" I told him.

"Don't deny it Jacob, you know he wants in Corey's pants; he wants to make him the next one on the list," he said, leaning over me.

"That's not true, Corey is the one always flinging himself at Edward," I replied, surprised that I hadn't just punched this guy already.

"Like I said," Derrick said, stepping even closer to me, "don't deny it, sooner or later Cullen's going to wonder, and I'm letting you know now, if it's with Corey, he's a dead man, so you might want to give him the memo."

"Whatever, you don't know what your talking about," I said, walking quickly out of the classroom. I wasn't going to stand there and take anymore of Derricks crap; I had better things to do.

"And you better tell that fucker to fix my grade, or else!" I heard Derrick shout from a distance.

I decided not to pay him any more attention. I was glad that I hadn't flipped out on him; maybe these things really were working.

I was relieved to feel the cold air against my skin, as I walked out of the building. I just wanted to get the kids and get the hell out of there as soon as possible.

As soon as I opened the door to the daycare, Willow was standing there waiting on me.

"Let's get out of here," she said, helping me gather up the babies and their stuff.

"Sounds like a plan," I replied, quickly signing their name out. As we left, I could hear many children either crying or coughing.

"Not much fun at the ol" daycare today?" I asked playfully.

"NO!" she replied, "everyone has a cold or they are crying!"

"Ew, well, you wont have to go back there for a while," I told her.

"How bout never?" she asked.

"We'll see, but right now we have to hurry up, or we'll be late getting your sister from Kindergarten," I said.

When I pulled up to the Kindergarten, it was 12:15. I saw Reneesme and the teacher standing outside the building.

"You're a little late," the teacher said, as I got out of the car.

"Sorry, I was trying to hurry," I told her.

"You young parents think everyone is on your time," she replied harshly.

"Sorry," I said again, grabbing Reneesmes hand and heading towards the car.

"Don't forget, Willows class starts at 1:00 sharp!" I head her call.

"I wont," I replied, and got in the car.

"What a bitch," I mumbled to myself, once I was in the car.

"Don't say that, it's a bad word!" Reneesme informed me.

"Sorry!" I said dryly.

So far, this day had pretty much sucked. I did noticed though, that I was staying a lot calmer then I otherwise would have. I guess the day was a good test for me.

"I'm starving!" Reneesme exclaimed, as we drove down the street.

"That's where we're going," I told her.

After a few more minutes of driving and listening to the girls complain about how hungry they were, I pulled into a small pizza place near the Kindergarten.

"Now, when we get in here, eat quick, I have to get Willow to Kindergarten by 1:00 sharp," I said, mocking the teacher.

Once inside, I ordered three slices, two apple juices and a soda. Usually, I could eat at least two slices, but today, I just wasn't feeling hungry. I didn't even want to eat the slice I ordered, but knew I had to for energy.

"Why can't we have soda?" Willow asked, as I sat the food and drinks down on the table.

"Your dad doesn't like you two having soda and you know it," I told her.

"Well, he's not here," she said. I didn't like that she was thinking of lying to her dad; I hope I wasn't rubbing off on her.

"That doesn't matter, you know you aren't suppose to have it, now eat, we have to go soon," I told her.

As they ate, I gave the babies, who were in their seats in the middle of the table, their bottles. I took a few bites of my pizza, but mostly played with the babies; I just wasn't hungry today for some reason.

"Daddy, aren't you going to eat your pizza?" Willow asked.

"No, I don't want anymore," I told her.

"Can I have it?" she asked. Willow was a lot like me, tall, with an athletic build. She also liked to eat a lot, just like me.

"I want some too!" Reneesme said.

"You haven't even finished your fist piece yet," I told her, handing the rest of my slice to Willow.

Once everyone had finished, I horridly packed everyone into the car and drove back to Kindergarten. When we arrived, it was 12:58.

"Hurry," I told Willow as she ran towards the building.

After dropping Willow off, I took Reneesme back to the college to meet Bella. Bella had a really hectic class and TA schedule on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, so Reneesme stayed with us those nights and every other weekend. On the alternate weekends, Willow would stay at Bella's. Even though the two bickered a lot, they didn't like to be apart, so we tried to keep them together as much as possible.

"Hey Mom!" Reneesme yelled, as we got out of the car.

"Hey, how was school today?" Bella asked.

"Great! Jake was late picking me up though and the teacher yelled at him," she laughed.

"Sorry, I had to get the rest of them from daycare first," I told Bella.

"It's ok Jake, I know you have a busy schedule too," she replied. "Are we still on for Wednesday night?"

"Of course," I told her with a smile.

"Did you guys get lunch?" she asked Reneesme.

"Yes, it was really good, but Jake didn't eat, he was being bad today," she replied.

"Why do you have to be such a tattle tale?" I asked her playfully.

"Are you alright Jake, I have never heard of you not eating?" Bella asked.

"I think so, maybe one of those germ infested kids from the daycare gave me something. It's a cesspool in there you know?" I laughed.

"Jake that's a horrible description," she laughed. "Well, give me a call if you feel sick, I'll bring you over some soup."

"Alright, well, I'm actually feeling pretty tired; it's been a stressful morning; I think I need a nap," I told her.

"Ok, see ya tomorrow," she replied.

"Bye Bella, bye tattle tale," I said, giving Reneesme a hug.

Once in the car, I realized it was just the babies and me, which didn't happen very often. I loved spending time alone with them; the best thing about it was that they hadn't learned to talk yet, so they just sat there and looked cute. Unfortunately, I knew that wouldn't last for long.

We had not been planning on having any more children until I was finished community college, however; that plan didn't really work out. Last Christmas break, right before the new semester started, I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't until March that I found out it was twins.

I didn't find out the sex of the twins until they were born. They were born on a warm day in August, but to me, it was an excruciatingly hot day. Carlisle oversaw the entire pregnancy, and was there for the delivery. There was no way I could explain the abnormally high temperature to any other Dr.

When they came out, again, they were both girls. It really didn't bother me; I liked girls and always seemed to hang out with them more anyway. I knew Edward loved them, but I could also tell he wanted a boy. He couldn't believe that two boys kept making girls.

Edward and I had done some research on the twin's astrology. Because their ruling planet was the sun, I named the first-born Liza, after the West African Goddess of the sun, and the second, I named Ruby, after the gemstone of the sun.

I was excited about the babies, which surprised me. I knew I wanted to have more children with Edward, I just didn't think I wanted them so soon. Although I was happy, the pregnancy took a lot out of me, especially in the summer months.

I remember some nights, I would get so hot that Edward would take me deep into the woods, undress me and lay me in the cool grass; it was the only thing that could cool me down.

Edward thought me being pregnant, lying in the grass was the sexiest thing on earth, when all I wanted to do was lay there and try to cool down. During my pregnancy's, both with Willow and with the twins, Edwards sex drive doubled. Usually, he was pretty restrained, not wanting me to feel pressured into anything. But when I was pregnant, that restraint pretty much flew right out the window.

Honestly, I didn't mind; it made him seem more human to me, not like some perfect being who had control over everything. I loved when he would lay me on the ground and tell me that if he didn't have me right there, he would die.

I respected Edward for usually showing such restraint with me, because truthfully, with the kids and school, I wasn't always in the mood. However, I did miss those wild moments, which, with being so busy, were hard to come by these days.

I ended my memory, as I pulled into the driveway. It had been a chaotic morning and I just wanted to relax.

I went inside the house, changed the babies and sat in the big reclining chair with them in my lap. I turned on some random cartoons for them to look at and attempted to read some of the book for my final on Wednesday, but ended up falling asleep within minutes.

The next thing I heard was Edward and Willow coming loudly into the house.

"I'm getting better!" I heard Willow protest.

"According to who," I heard Edward ask.

"Grandpa Carlisle," she answered.

"Oh, well, he's not very good either," I heard Edward laugh.

"Dad, I'm only five I'll get better," she replied.

"Good, because if your going to be in this family, you have to be able to play baseball," he laughed again.

"Well, I'm not as bad as Reneesme," she said.

"Good point, no one's that bad," he replied and they both laughed.

"Hi Daddy," Willow said, as she came into the living room.

"Hey," I said, still groggy from my nap. "It's almost 5:00, where were you guys?" I asked.

"We were practicing baseball after school," she said, and I could tell she was cold from being outside so long.

"Come here, " I told her, motioning towards the blanket I had over me.

For once, she actually crawled onto my lap and under the blanket.

"Brr," she said, snuggling into me.

"You let her get to cold," I told Edward, who was now standing in the entrance to the living room.

"Sorry, I noticed she started shivering, so I brought her in," he said.

"Remember, she actually gets cold," I told him sternly.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

"I know," I said, smiling at him, so he would know I wasn't mad anymore.

He walked over and kissed me gently on the lips, picking up the babies as he did so.

"Is it time for them to eat?" he asked.

"Yep, would you please feed them for me; I want to get Willow in the bathtub, to warm her up," I told him.

"Of course," he said, walking into the kitchen to feed the babies.

I went upstairs and started the bathwater, while Willow went in her room to get her pajamas. While she was in her room, I quickly went and grabbed my bag from downstairs. I took one of the tablets from the box, put it in my pocket and through the bag in my room.

When I walked back into the bathroom, I noticed Willow still wasn't in there, so I quickly filled a small disposable cup with water and popped the pill in my mouth.

Willow walked in as I was finishing the water.

"Ready," I asked.

"Yes, I'm freezing!" she exclaimed

"Alright, well, yell when you're in and I'll be in to help," I told her, wanting to give her some privacy.

After the bath, I dried Willows hair and we went downstairs to find Edward and the twins.

When we entered the kitchen, Edward had the babies in their swings. He also had the leftover spaghetti ready for willow and I.

"Yum," Willow said, immediately going for the spaghetti.

"Thanks," I said, as I walked over and hugged Edward.

"Your welcome, but you really should be thanking the microwave," he laughed.

"You're in a silly mood today," I told him.

"I know, today was my last class," he said.

"Oh, I thought you had one more on Wednesday morning?" I asked.

"Nah, I canceled it; they took their finals today, so there really was no point," he explained.

"Slacker," I said

"Yeah, pretty much," he laughed.

"Did Derrick take your final today?" I asked; as I sat down to eat.

"Derrick who?" he asked, generally confused.

"You know, Derrick, Corey's boyfriend," I answered.

"Oh, that guy, yeah he took it…why?" he asked.

"He came up to me today, yelling about how you gave him a bad grade," I told Edward. I left out the part where he threatened me.

"And what did he say?" Edward asked; I could hear the hint of anger in his voice.

"He was just mad about the grade," I half lied.

"Jacob! Tell me what he said?" he pressed.

"Why do you care so much?" I asked.

"Because I can tell your lying, and if you feel the need to lie about it, he must have said something important," he answered.

"Alright, I'll tell you about it when we go to bed," I said; I wished that I hadn't brought it up.

"Fine," he replied, pulling out a huge stack of final exams and placing them a little harder then necessary on the table.

I sighed and took a few more bites of my dinner. Again, I just wasn't hungry.

"I'm done," Willow said. "Can I go watch TV now?'

"Yeah, just keep it low, I have to study for a while," I told her.

Once Willow had left the room, Edward looked up from the stack of papers he had been pretending to focus on.

"So, are you going to tell me now?" he asked.

"He told me that you better give him a good grade or else," I replied, revealing a little more of the truth.

"Or else what?" Edward asked with a laugh.

"I don't know, he didn't say," I answered.

"Alright, what else did he say?" Edward asked.

"That was the just of it," I answered.

"Why wont you tell me?" he asked, frustration evident on his face.

"Because, the rest of it, I don't rally want to bring up," I told him.

"Please tell me Jake, I don't want you to keep things from me," he said sincerely.

"He said you were giving him bad grades because you were jealous of him being with Corey. He said that you were going to end up cheating on me, and that if you did it with Corey, he was going to come after you," I explained.

"Why the fuck is everyone so worried about Corey!" he said angrily.

I didn't answer for a few seconds; I was too shocked at what Edward had just said. It was rare to hear Edward curse, so when he did, I knew he was upset.

"Edward, you just asked me to tell you and I did," I reminded him.

"I know Jake, I'm not mad at you. I just don't like that guy and I don't want him making you think I like Corey," he explained, trying to keep his temper under wraps.

"Well, do you like Corey?" I asked, before I had time to think about it.

"No! I wish you would stop thinking that," he said.

"Do you honestly not notice how he acts around you? Edward, he practically throws himself at you every chance he gets," I explained.

"Jacob, I don't notice it, I guess because I don't care. I have no feelings towards Corey, so I could really care less what he does," he said.

"I believe you, but you have to pay attention, because Derrick notices it too," I told him.

"I will pay more attention," he told me. "I don't think I'll see him anymore anyway, now that classes are over."

I chose to end the Corey conversation then; I really didn't want to waste any more time on it, plus; I had finals to study for.

We both sat at the table for a good two hours, me, studying for finals and Edward, grading them.

Once 9:00 came around, I had had it, plus; I had to get Willow and the twins ready for bed anyway.

I closed by book dramatically and yawned. "No more for tonight" I said.

"I only have a few more left, so I'll be up in a few minutes with the babies," Edward told me.

"Ok, I'm going to put Willow to bed and get a shower," I told him.

When I walked into the living room, Willow was watching something on Animal Planet about sharks.

"Come on, it's time to get ready for bed," I told her.

"Ohh, do I have to!" she whined.

"Yep, and if you come on now, I'll read you one book," I told her.

She quickly turned off the TV, said goodnight to Edward and we headed upstairs. I tucked her in and red her a book, then went to take my shower.

As I walked into our bedroom, I saw Edward sitting on the side of the bed waiting for me.

"Hey," I said, walking over to him.

He didn't answer me, instead; he pulled me over to him and started kissing my bellybutton. His cool hands rubbed up and down my sides, feeling good against my hot skin. He kissed a trail up to my chest, then stood up to kiss my lips, all the while, continuing to rub my sides.

After some moments, he slid his arms around me, lifted me up and placed me on our bed. A second later, his knees were on either side of my legs and he was pushing me back to lie on the bed.

It was strange, earlier in the day, I had yearned for one of those wild moments, and now that I had my chance, sex was the last thing I wanted.

I lie there, letting Edward continue to kiss me for a while, not wanting to loose the closeness. When I felt that he wanted to go further, I had to stop him.

"Edward," I breathed, taking his chin in my hand.

"Yes?" he said, surprised that I had stopped him.

I couldn't remember a time where I had ever told him no, or wanted to for that matter.

"I can't," I told him simply.

"Oh," he said, looking at me directly in the eye. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just haven't felt right today," I told him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, I haven't felt hungry all day and now… well, you know," I said.

He didn't say anything; he just lay there and looked at me.

"Are you mad?" I asked, trying to gauge his reaction.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were feeling ill," he told me.

"Edward, it's ok, I think I just need a good nights rest," I said.

"Alright," he said, putting his shirt back on. "I think I'm going for a run, I need to… get rid of some energy," he laughed.

"Ok," I laughed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry Jake, just rest. If you need anything, think really loud, and I'll bring it to you," he said.

"Ok, goodnight Edward," I said.

"Goodnight," he said, before leaving the room.

A/N: I hope this chapter was not to monotones, it is just really important to the plot that I describe everything in such detail.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	5. the Rising Tide

I have been writing and tweaking this chapter and the next for the past few weeks, so I hope you like it. Let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading!

Chapter 5

Tuesday went by pretty smoothly. I spent most of the day playing with the babies and studying for my last final. Edward took care of taking Willow to school that day, so I could focus on studying.

Again, I didn't feel hungry, which was taking a toll on my energy level. Throughout the day, I tried eating small portions; however, whenever I ate, I instantly felt nauseous. Throughout the day, I know I didn't even consume an entire meal.

By the time Edward came home from picking Willow up from school and Renesme from Bella's, I was tired and irritable.

"Give me that," I heard, as the three of them came through the door.

"You'll have to catch me first," Renesme laughed, as she began running through the house.

Immediately, Willow started chasing after her. They both tore through the house, running, screaming and laughing, until it happened. As they began their second lap around the living room, Renesme tripped over a corner of the area rug, falling flat on her face. The box she had taken away from Willow flew out of her hands, landing on the other side of the room

What was in the box, which included mashed potatoes, chicken and pees spilled from the box, landing in an inedible heap on the floor.

"Wow, your dead," Willow said, covering her mouth in shock.

I didn't have time to react to the situation, before Edward intervened. I knew from being with him for so long, that this was not one of those situations he wouldn't handle well.

I, on the other hand, decided to stay calm, even though I was feeling grumpy and irritated. I was really starting to notice a change in myself; these things really were working!

Without a word, Edward strode over to where Renesme lay. She was lying there, looking up at him, her eyes as big as saucers.

"S-Sorry Dad," she stammered.

"Let's go," he said, picking her up by the back of the shirt and placing her stiffly on her feet.

I watched as the two left the living room and headed upstairs. I knew Edward was going to be a grouch for the rest of the night, mainly because he thought he would have to clean up the mess. When it came to dealing with food, Edward preferred to have as little contact as possible; so, I knew the idea of cleaning up a gooey mess was sure to put him in a bad mood.

Before Edward came back downstairs, I quickly ran into the kitchen, grabbed some paper towels and cleaned up the mess.

As I went into the kitchen to throw everything away, I heard Edward come into the kitchen. I could feel the annoyance radiating from him, which was pretty uncomfortable.

"Thank you for cleaning that up," he said stiffly.

"It's fine, don't worry about it," I told him, as I finished washing my hands.

"No, it's not fine," he said frankly.

"Edward, please, I know you're upset, but it's done with, so try not to let it ruin the rest of your night," I told him calmly.

"No," he said, not so calmly. "That girl acts so irresponsibly and no one does anything about it. You, in fact, act like you could care less about what just happened," he stated.

"Edward, I do care, why would you think otherwise?" I asked.

"Because," he said, crossing his arms and looking at the floor, "you just stood there and didn't say anything, now, you're telling me to just let it go!"

"I wasn't really expecting any of that to happen, and when it did, you handled it before I had time to do anything," I told him.

"Ok, but still, you don't act like you're bothered at all by what happened," he said.

"I am bothered; Renesme needs to stop acting like such a brat all the time," I told him.

"What do you propose we do?" he asked.

"Well... I think we keep correcting her like you did tonight, and I'll talk to Bella about it tomorrow when we go out," I told him.

"Alright," he said, still standing there looking upset.

I walked over to where he stood and put my arms around him. I could still feel his rigidness, so I rubbed my hands over his cheeks, then kissed them softly: I knew what to do to cheer him up.

I felt him soften a little, then put his arms around me. "I just hope this new behavior doesn't last long," he sighed.

"I don't think it will, we have to remember, she's only five," I told him.

"Willows just turned five, and she doesn't act like that," he said.

"Willow has her own set of things she needs to work on, and you have to remember, Willow gets to stay here all the time, Renesme bounces around a lot, which may have something to do with it" I told him.

"When did you become so wise?" he laughed.

"Intro to psych, " I laughed; that seemed to be my answer to a lot of questions theese days.

I still hadn't picked a major, but after taking into to psych, I was leaning towards it.

"Ok then, what's Willow's problem?" he asked.

"Social skills," I told him.

"What about them?" he questioned.

"She doesn't have any!" I said frankly.

"Oh," he laughed, "well, I guess we'll have to work on that too."

"Yeah, but it'll all work out baby, don't worry" I told him.

He held me tight for a while; placing gentle kisses on my lips, until we wee interrupted by Willow, stomping into the kitchen.

"So what are we going to eat now?" she demanded, hands on her hips.

Edward looked away from me and gave her one of those looks that said, "I'm not in the mood for any crap."

"Um, what are we going to eat please?" she tried.

"That's better, " I said, trying not to laugh at the fact that please didn't fit the question. "Sit down at the table and do your homework and I'll make you something."

As I cooked Willow dinner, which consisted of instant mashed potatoes, some frozen pees and baked chicken, Edward went into the living room to play with Liza and Ruby.

"I like the real ones more," Willow told me, as I put her plate on the table.

"Well, I didn't have time to make you the real ones, I wasn't expecting to cook today at all," I said.

"Is Renesme going to get any?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm going to get her now, but after that, she's going right back upstairs, so no playing tonight," I told her.

"This day sucks!" she shouted.

"Willow, be quiet and eat your food, or you can go up there right along with her," I said.

Without waiting for a response, I went upstairs to bring Renesme downstairs.

As I entered her room, I saw that she was laying facedown on her bed, crying.

"Come on, it's time to go eat," I told her.

"Really?" she sniffed.

"Yes, now come on," I said.

"I thought Dad was going to let me starve!" she howled; she was very dramatic for a five-year-old.

"Renesme, no one is gong to let you starve, now come on," I said, grabbing her hand and leading her down the stairs.

When we came into the kitchen, Willow was finishing her dinner.

"Ew, I don't want to eat those!" Renesme said, pointing to the peas on her plate.

"You don't have a choice, eat your peas," I told her.

"NO!" she said, crossing her arms.

"Edward, get in here," I thought very loudly.

Within a few seconds, Edward was in the kitchen.

"Yes?" he asked, looking at me.

"Renesme is refusing to eat her peas," I pointed out.

"Renesme!" he said sharply, making all three of us jump.

I had never seen Edward loose his cool when it came to the girls, but I was worried that it wasn't going to take much longer.

"What dad?" she said innocently.

"You eat right now, or your going to bed with nothing," he told her.

After that, it only took a few minutes before Renesme finished. I then took them both upstairs for their bath, putting them to bed early that night.

I had been tired and irritable before they even got home; now, I was totally exhausted and wanted to have some quiet time before bed.

After putting them to bed, I went into the bathroom, took my pill and went downstairs to sit in the living room with Edward.

When I entered the living room, he was laying on the couch with the babies on his chest.

"Are they asleep?" I asked.

"Yes, but if I move, I'm afraid they will wake up," he said.

I went over to where he lay and picked Liza up and put her in her swing, and then did the same with Ruby.

"You just have to have that special touch," I laughed, flopping down on top of Edward.

"I think I preferred the babies, they're lighter," he teased.

"Watch it," I said, giving him the evil eye.

"Speaking of, I noticed you didn't eat dinner tonight and your looking a little thin," he said, putting his hand on the small of my back.

"Oh," I said; not noticing that I hadn't eaten dinner; I just wasn't hungry anymore. "I didn't notice," I told him.

"You didn't notice, what kind of answer is that?" he asked incredulously

"I dono, I haven't been feeling hungry the last few days," I explained.

"Why not?" he asked.

"I don't know, I just haven't felt right this week," I told him.

"Well, if you're not feeling better by the weekend, I would like you to go see Carlisle," he said.

"Ok," I said, wanting to know myself, why I felt s off.

* * *

Wednesday was pretty uneventful, aside from my psychology final, which I aced. Although the day was going well, I still had no apatite and a lack of energy. And, although I was exhausted, I hadn't been able to sleep well, waking up almost every hour for no apparent reason.

Once I had finished the final, I waited in the lobby for Bella, who TA'd for an English class on Wednesday evenings.

After waiting for a few minutes, I saw her approaching.

"Hey Bella," I said, looking up from the paper I was reading.

"Jacob, are you ok?" she asked, sounding concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, a little thrown off by her reaction, "why?"

"You look, uh, you look really tired," she said.

"Yeah, I'm pretty tired, but I'm OK," I told her.

"Ok… if you're sure," she said, dragging her words out.

"Yeah, let's just go get this over with," I told her, involuntarily yawning.

"Ok…" she said, still eyeing me skeptically. "So, what were you reading?" she asked

"Christmas lists," I said, holding them out to her.

"Oh great," she said, reading over the lists, "Of course, Renesme's is twice as long as Willows."

"Yeah, I noticed that," I told her.

"I think I'm just going to get her a lump of coal this year," Bella said; I could tell she was half serious.

I found this to be the perfect opportunity to bring up Renesme's recent behavior problems.

"So, she hasn't been good for you either huh?" I asked, trying to ease into the subject. I never wanted Bella to think I was picking on Renesme because she wasn't mine.

"No, not really," she admitted, "I assume it's the same for you?" she asked.

"Yeah, lately, she has been acting irresponsibly, as Edward likes to put it," I laughed.

"Yeah, I've noticed that too," she replied.

"We were wondering what you thought should be done about it?" I asked.

"I don't know really, I think we all let her get away with too much," she answered.

"Yeah, I can see that," I told her.

"Well, we are just going to have to stop letting that happen. When she does something wrong, we are going to have to punish her, instead of just letting it go," she said.

"Yeah, those were pretty much the same thoughts I had," I told her, "but it's mostly you and I, Edward doesn't let her get away with anything."

"Yeah, she always complains that he's to mean, " she laughed.

"Yeah, well I'm sure once we start this, she'll think we're mean too," I said.

"Yeah," she sighed, "I hope she gets out of this phase soon."

"She will," I assured her.

"Alright, well, are you ready?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, yawning again.

We walked out into the parking lot and got into the SUV Edward had gotten Bella. He did not want the kids to ride in the old truck, due to its lack of back seat.

We drove for fifteen minutes or so, until we came to a small shopping center with a few stores in it.

"We can probably get a lot of it knocked out here," she said, pulling into the last empty space available.

"Alright, I hope they have some stuff left," I said, eyeing the massive amount of people flowing in and out of the stores.

We walked into a store that looked like it sold a little bit of everything and grabbed a cart.

"Ok, start reading," Bella said, weaving the cart through a crowed of people.

"Ok," I said,, pulling out Willows list. "Coloring books, art stuff, Scooby-Doo videos and new snow boots," I read.

"That's it?" Bella asked?

"Yeah, plus that's the stuff she knows how to write," I laughed.

"OK, read Renesme's," she said.

"Barbie's, Barbie house, Barbie car, Hannah Montana video, new snow boots, new clothes, computer games, TV for room, DVD player for room," I finished.

"I don't think so," Bella exclaimed.

"They're five, the last thing they need is their own TV," I said.

We went through the isles, finding most of the things on the list. I found Willow a nice art kit and some Scooby-Doo coloring books to go with the video I got her. I found a Hannah Montana shirt to go with the video I got Renesme.

I really wished Renesme had chosen a more likable television personality to obsess over, but who was I to tell her what she could and couldn't like; personally, I preferred Scooby. Finally, I got them each a pair of snow boots. Renesmes were pink with white polka dots and Willows were black with purple Polka dots.

"Well, I think I'm done shopping for them at least," I told Bella, who was putting some random Barbie stuff in the cart.

"I have all this Barbie stuff and a Barbie computer game for Renesme, but what should I get Willow? You got all the stuff on the list!" she said.

"Get her more Scooby stuff, that's her thing right now," I told Bella.

"I know, they always play detective agency when they are at my house," she laughed.

After walking around for a while longer, Bella decided on getting Willow a detective kit and a Scooby mystery solving game.

"Done!" she announced.

I laughed at her obvious detest for shopping; honestly, I think I actually liked to shop more then Bella.

"You aren't getting anyone else anything?" I asked.

"Yeah, but first, we need to get you something to eat," she said.

"Oh, alright," I groaned, wanting to avoid eating with Bella.

After paying for our stuff, we went into a dinky fast food joint attached to the shopping center.

Bella ordered some pizza and a coke, while I only ordered a small fry and a coke.

"Jacob! You need to eat more then just a small fry!" Bella said, as we found ourselves a table.

"Bella, I'm not feeling hungry, OK?" I exclaimed, sick of everyone telling me I should eat more.

"No wonder you look the way you do," she snapped.

"And what's that?" I asked.

"Like hell! You look like you haven't eaten or slept in days," she said in frustration.

"I'm fine, I just feel a little under the weather," I told her calmly.

As we sat there, eating our food, a pair of middle aged woman sat down at the booth behind us. Immediately, they started bantering back and forth to one another, and of course; the topic of conversation happened to be us.

"I can't believe they still hang out together," one of the women whispered harshly.

"I know, after what that little whore did to her…" her friend commented.

"They are all a strange bunch," the other lady replied.

"Yeah, especially that Cullen boy, he thinks he can just go around screwin the entire town," said the first lady.

"Let's go," Bella said, throwing her uneaten food away.

"Ok," I said, glad that I wouldn't have to continue sitting there forcing myself to eat.

"God, I wish people would just shut up and mind their business!" Bella yelled, once we were outside.

"Don't worry about it Bella, they don't matter," I told her.

"What is wrong with you Jacob, you act like some kind of damn zombie, you wont eat, you barely say anything and now, when someone is talking about you right in front of you, you don't care! What is wrong with you?" she shrieked.

"Nothing, besides the fact that I am tired, and have more important things to worry about then some stupid ladies I don't even know talking about me," I explained.

"Fine," she sighed, "I think we should call it a night; I want you to go home and get some sleep," she told me.

"Ok, that actually sounds like a good idea, but when are we going to get the rest done?" I asked, knowing that neither of us liked shopping alone.

"We can finish it up Saturday if you're free?" she asked.

"That's fine," I told her.

Once Bella dropped me off back at the school parking lot, I threw all the bags in the back of my Rabbit and drove home, ready to get some rest.

The next morning, I dropped Renesme off at school and then went to pick up my Dad.

"Hey Dad," I said, entering the familiar house.

"Hi Son, ready to go?" he asked.

"Yep, let's go," I said.

Once I had helped him into the passengers seat, I put his chair in the back of my car and took off.

"So, what kind of appointment do you have today?" I asked.

"Oh, just a check-up, nuthin major," he answered.

"Good," I said, pulling onto the main road.

We drove in comfortable silence on the way to the Dr.'s office. In truth, I had been worrying about the appointment ever since my father had told me about it. He was a man of few words, so I had spent all week hypothesizing about what kind of Dr.'s appointment this would be; I was relieved when he told me it was just a check-up.

After the appointment, I helped Dad back into the car. Once inside, I asked him about the visit, knowing it was not something he would want to discuss in public.

"So, how did it go?" I asked.

"Eh, it went alright, says I need to get my cholesterol and blood pressure down," he answered.

"Dad, you know that and you know you need to eat better," I told him.

"Oh Jacob, don't worry, I'll be fine," he told me.

"Yeah, if you stop frying every meal you eat," I said.

"I've been doing better with that, but anyway, let's go; I want to get the grandchildren something for Christmas," he said, instantly cheering up.

"Alright," I sighed, still concerned about the results of the check-up.

I decided to take Dad to a larger store, so that it would be easier for him to maneuver he way around. Unfortunately, the closest store like that was a good half hour away.

"So, what do the girls want this year?" he asked as I drove.

"They don't need much; they practically have everything," I told him.

"Well, they can always have more," he chuckled.

"Yeah, like those ten dollar bills you always give them," I smiled.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Jacob," he said, still smiling.

Once we reached the store, I helped Dad into his chair and we went into the large building.

"Wow, they have everything in here," Dad said, looking around in amazement.

As he looked around, a large woman drove by on an electric scooter.

"They have those here?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, I never thought about that, do you want to use one?" I asked.

"Of course I want to use one," he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Once Dad got his electric scooter, he left me in the dust.

"I have a few things I need to do, I'll meet you back here in an hour," he told me, scooting off before I had time to reply.

/Great, / I thought as I stood there alone. After a few minutes, I decided since I was already in the store, I might as well find something for Edward, Ruby and Liza.

In the hour that I spent wondering around the store, I managed to find Edward some jeans, since we were always ruining ours by working on cars. I also found him a few books and CD's he had been wanting. I wanted to find him something special, but I'd have to go elsewhere to do that.

I found a few clothes and learning toys for the twins; they weren't even one yet, so Christmas shopping for them was a little hard.

Once the hour had passed, I went back to the spot Dad and I were suppose to meet. After a few minutes, I saw him rolling in my direction. The basket on the scooter was filled with two large bags, making it difficult for him to see. On the floor of the scooter, sat a large box.

"Geez Dad, you didn't have to do all that!" I said, as we left the store.

"Jacob, I'll buy them whatever I please," he told me.

"Your going to spoil them even more then they already are," I said wearily.

"That's my plan," he announced.

To my dismay; on the way home, Dad wanted to stop someplace and get some lunch.

We stopped at a small diner along the side of the road; I still wasn't feeling hungry.

Once we were seated, Dad immediately started looking over the menu; I just sat there.

"Jacob, hurry up and decide what you want, I'm starving," he said.

"I'm not going to get anything," I told him, hoping that he would just let it go.

"What!" he almost yelled, "yes you are."

"I'm really not feeling hungry," I told him.

"Jacob, you need to eat, you look like crap," he retorted.

"Gee thanks," I said, putting my head down and looking at the table.

"Jacob, I'm sorry, you just look skinny and tired, what's wrong with you?" he asked.

"Nothin Dad," I answered, not wanting to discus the issue anymore.

"Bull; is it Cullen? Is he telling you that you can't eat?" he asked very seriously.

"What? Dad no, where do you come up with these absurd theories?" I asked.

"Now you're starting to talk like him too," he huffed.

"Dad stop, I'm just not hungry right now," I told him, trying to defuse the situation.

"You better not be pregnant again either, you need to finish your school," he continued, ignoring my attempt.

"I'm not," I said bluntly.

"How do you know?" he grilled.

"I just know!" I said in frustration.

"Better not be," he grumbled into his menu.

Much to my pleasure, the waitress came to take our order a few seconds later. I really wanted to spend time with my Dad; I just wished that he didn't always have to turn it into an interrogation.

"I'll have the fish fillet," he told the waitress.

"Fries or baked potato?" she asked.

Before he could answer, I gave him a look.

"Baked potato," he sighed.

"And you," she asked, turning in my direction.

Before I had time to answer, Dad returned the look.

"Same thing," I told her.

Once she left the table, Dad gave me a smile.

"You got your way," I told him dryly.

"I just want you to be healthy, isn't that what you always tell me?" he laughed.

"Yeah yeah," I sighed.

A few minutes later, our food came. Immediately, Dad began devouring his. I, on the other hand, ate mine slowly, afraid of getting sick if I didn't.

"Ok, I'm finished," I said, after eating almost my entire potato and half the fish.

"Fine, I just wanted you to eat something," Dad said; he had already finished his meal minutes ago.

After paying the bill, we got back in my car and began the drive back to the reservation. Although it was hard for me to eat, I felt more energized then I had in a few days.

"See, you already look like your feeling better," Dad said.

"Yeah, I have a little more energy now," I told him.

"Good, you were a wet noodle all morning," he laughed.

"Haha,' I said dryly.

After a few minutes of driving in silence, I spoke again.

"I have a favor to ask you," I told him.

"What's that?" he asked, looking concerned.

"Would you be able to watch the kids on Friday night, then again on Tuesday night?" I asked stiffly. I tried to ask my Dad for favors as little as possible: I didn't want him thinking I was incapable of taking care of thngs myself.

"Sure," he said.

"If you can't, I understand," I told him.

"Jacob, it's fine, they are my Grandchildren after all," he told me.

"Thanks," I smiled.

"So what's going on those nights?" he asked casually.

"Friday, Edward has to go to the staff Christmas party for the college, since he's a teachers assistant. Then Tuesday, Carlisle invited everyone to some black tie Christmas event for the hospital," I told him.

"Sounds important," he said.

"Edward doesn't like going to these things, especially by himself, so I told him I'd go along," I explained.

"I've never been much for those fancy events myself," he said.

"Me either!" I said, pulling up to his house.

After dropping Dad off, I drove home, wanting to rest for a while before picking Willow up from school.

When I got in, Edward was packing some things into a duffle bag.

"Hey," I said, walking into the living room.

"Hey," he said, zipping up his bag and walking over to me. "Did you have a good time with your Dad today?" he asked, kissing my cheek.

"Yeah, it was better then usually, not a full interrogation this time," I laughed

"Good, well I took Renesme back to Bella's, you just have to get Willow at 4:00," he told me.

"Alright, I think I'm going to rest for a little while, before I have to go," I told him.

"Did you eat today?" he asked.

"Yeah, I had a potato and some fish," I told him.

"Good, well I want you to try and eat at least once more today," he said, grabbing his bag.

"I'll try," I told him.

"Ok, well I'm off; I'll see you Friday afternoon," he said, kissing me once more.

"Alright, I love you," I said, lying back on the couch.

"Love you too," he said before walking out the door.

Edward was going hunting with Alice and Jasper for the night, so it was just the kids and I, minus Renesme. I didn't mind it though; I liked to have them to myself once in a while.

Once I saw that it was getting close to 4:00, I decided it was time to leave and get Willow from school. When I picked her up, both babies were crying in the back seat.

"What's wrong with them?" she asked as she got into the car.

"I have no idea, one started crying, so I guess the other had to join in," I told her.

"Can you make them stop?" she asked.

"We'll have to go for a drive, that usually shuts them up," I laughed.

"Can we get ice cream while we're on the drive?" she asked.

"Yeah sure, why not," I said

"Awesome, let's go," she said.

I drove until we got to the next town, which had the only ice cream shop I knew of for at least 30 miles. I pulled up to the window and began reading the menu to Willow.

"So what do you want?" I asked her, once I had finished reading.

"Vanilla and chocolate swirl," she answered.

"There really was no point of me reading that then, was there?" I laughed.

She just laughed in return.

"So what are you getting daddy?" she asked.

"I dono if I'm getting anything," I answered.

"Come on, please" she whined.

"Oh, alright," I huffed, rolling down my window. "Why do you want ice cream anyway, it's winter?"

"So, ice cream is good always," she laughed.

I ordered her ice cream and a small milkshake for myself. I thought the sugar might perk me up; plus, I couldn't really eat ice cream and drive very well.

As I started the drive home, the babies finally fell asleep, leaving the car unusually quiet.

"See, isn't it good?" Willow asked.

"Yeah, how bout yours?" I asked, glancing over to her.

"Yeah, but it's gone now," she said, scraping the bottom of her cup with her spoon.

"Wow, you should slow down, your going to get a headache," I told her as I pulled into the driveway.

"Ok, I need you to go unlock the door and hold it open while I bring the babies inside," I told Willow as we got out of the car.

"Ok," she said, running towards the door.

I unhooked the babies from their seats as gently and as quietly as I could and brought them inside. Once inside, I put them each in their crib for a nap and gently closed the door.

"Finally!" I asid to Willow, was waiting for me in the hall. "They have not slept for me all day."

"Yeah, they are kind of annoying sometimes," she said.

"Awe, no they're not, they are just little, so they can't help it," I explained.

"No, they're annoying," she said again.

"You're annoying," I laughed.

"No, you are," she laughed.

The twins slept for about an hour before screaming their heads off. I spent the rest of the evening making dinner and giving baths, before finally putting the twins to bed for good.

"Daddy, can we watch a movie?" Willow asked as I flopped on the couch beside her.

"You'll be up past your bedtime if we do that," I told her.

"Please, just this once, I promise, I won't tell Dad," she begged.

"Oh, alright, go pick a movie and I'll make popcorn," I told her.

Once the corn had been popped, I made a bed out of blankets and pillow in front of the TV. It had been a while since the two of us had watched a movie together. Before the twins were born, Willow and I used to spend a lot of one-on-one time together, watching movies, playing games or reading books. Now that I had a lot more responsibility, our fun time was limited, so I was glad we could do this, even if we were breaking the rules.

The next morning, I woke up to realize Willow and I had fallen asleep on the makeshift bed. The first thing I heard was screaming babies, so I decided it was time to get up and give them breakfast. I had just started giving them cereal, so breakfast was a tedious messy event.

Once breakfast was finally over, I took them into the living room and placed them on the heap of pillows and blankets next to Willow.

"Ew, daddy don't put them next to me, they'll slobber all over me," she whined, still half asleep.

"Willow, it's 6:00 a.m., please go back to sleep for a while," I told her.

"Fine," she mumbled, rolling over so her back was to the twins.

Once she had fallen back to sleep, I lay down beside the twins and tried to go back to sleep myself.

After two hours of restless sleep and pestering children, I decided enough was enough and got up for the day.

"About time," Willow said, as I sat up.

"Time for what?" I asked, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"Time for breakfast, I'm hungry," she said bluntly.

"Alright, come on," I said, dragging myself to the kitchen.

That night had been the best sleep I had gotten all week, though I still felt tired and lethargic from lack of nourishment. After drinking the milkshake from yesterday, I had felt to nauseous to attempt dinner or the popcorn.

Once Willow had finished breakfast, I got a call from Bella.

"Hey," I said

"Hey, guess what, Kindergarten is canceled today," she answered.

"Why?" I asked.

"Have you looked outside?" she asked.

"No," I said, pulling back a curtain. "Wow, it snowed!"

"Yeah, where have you been?" she asked.

"Sleeping for once," I told her.

"Glad to hear it; so, did your dad say he could watch the kids tonight?" she asked.

"Yeah, but who knows if they'll even have the thing now," I said, secretly hoping the Christmas party would be canceled.

"Nah, it's all suppose to melt by this afternoon," she said sullenly.

"Yay," I said sarcastically.

"Don't sound so sad Jake," she laughed. "So, If your not doing anything today, do you want me to come over later?" she asked.

"Yeah sure," I said

"Ok, see ya around noon?" she asked.

"Sure, see ya then," I said, hanging up the phone.

"Is Renesme coming over now?" Willow asked, as soon as I had put the phone down.

"She'll be here around noon," I told her.

"Good, it's boring around here," she moaned.

Once twelve o'clock rolled around, Bella and Renesme came over. I was glad that I'd have someone over the age of 5 to talk to and glad that Willow would have a playmate; her whining about how board she was, was starting to drive me nuts.

When Edward Finally got home, it was almost 4:00. Bella and I had already gotten dressed for the party, which started at 6:00. Bella wore a simple pair of black dress paints and a silky blue shirt, while I wore a pair of slim fitting black pants and a metallic silver dress shirt with black pinstripes.

"Hey," he said, rushing passed us to go upstairs. I could see that his clothes were filthy, so I assumed he was going to take a shower.

"Jacob, come here please," I heard Edward call from the top of the stairs a few minutes later.

"Can you watch the twins for a second," I asked Bella

"Yeah," she said.

I ran upstairs, wondering what Edward had called me for. Once I entered the room, I saw him standing in the center of the room, wearing only a pair of black dress pants.

"What's up?" I asked, walking towards him.

"Come here," he said simply.

"What?" I said, stopping directly in front of him.

As I stood there, I felt him put his arms around me, pulling me in close.

"You look nice in that," he whispered, brushing his lips across my ear.

"Thanks," I beamed; I didn't like to admit it, but I loved when Edward gave me compliments.

"You'd look even better out of it," he said slyly

"Is that so?" I asked, a little surprised at his sudden come-on.

"It is," he said, kissing my lips softly.

I couldn't help it, I had to kiss back, even though we had less then two hours to get the kids to my dads and get to the party.

Somehow, without my realizing it, we ended up on the bed, Edward atop me. He kissed me vehemently on the lips, and then began moving the kisses lower.

"Edward!" I called, but it came out more like a squeak.

"What," he said, looking me directly in the eye. His eyes were dark, but not from his hunger for blood, but from his hunger for me.

"W-We can't, we have to go," I told him weakly, wishing I wasn't right.

"Jacob," he said, brining his face up to mine, "you are trying to kill me aren't you?"

"No! I don't want to go, but we have to," I told him.

He looked at me for a second longer, his face still resting on mine, then, he got up without a word. Before I knew it, he was putting on a plain black dress shirt and tucking it into the black pants he had been wearing.

"Edward," I said, trying to read his mood.

He didn't answer.

"Edward," I said again, standing in front of him this time, "you look like you're going to a funeral," I tried to joke.

"Might as well be," he said darkly.

"Stop! you know we have to go to this thing, so don't be mad at me," I told him.

Again he didn't answer; instead, he walked out of the room.

At times, I was amazed that he had been on this earth for over one hundred years, because he could be the biggest baby I had ever met.

After combing my hair again, I went downstairs to get ready to leave. When I walked into the living room, I saw that Edward had already loaded all the stuff in the car and was now strapping the twins in their car seats.

"What's wrong with him?" Bella asked.

"I dono, I guess he's just pissed we have to go to this thing," I told her, leaving out the fact that he was mad because he didn't get any.

"Eh, he'll get over it," she laughed.

The ride to my Dad's was awkward to say the least. Edward had asked Bella to sit up front with him, claiming that he just couldn't stand sitting beside me. This left me crammed in the backseat with Willow, Renesme and all the stuff they just had to bring along. Behind me, sat the twins, who cried on and off the entire ride. They were very good at sensing when soothing wasn't right, and they were definitely right this time.

Once we pulled up to my Dad's, I quickly jumped out of the backseat and began unloading all the stuff. Edward came in behind me, carrying a baby seat in each hand. Behind him were Renesme and Willow; none of us said a word.

"Thank you for watching them Mr. Black," Edward said stiffly, and then walked out the door.

"What's his problem?" Dad asked.

"He's being a baby because he doesn't want to go to the Christmas party," I sighed, again, leaving out the other part.

"Ah, can't say that I blame him," he said.

"Yeah, well, he needs to get over it," I said, trying not to let my Dad see how upset I was.

"He will, and if he doesn't, you can come here and stay with us," he said.

"Alright," I sighed, giving the kids a hug. As I was about to walk outside, I heard an angry horn.

"He better cool it if he knows what's good for him," Dad warned.

"Dad, it's ok, he's just being stupid; I'm sorry I drug you into it," I told him.

"He needs knocked down a peg or two if you ask me," he huffed.

"Yeah, I plan on it, just after the party," I told him.

"Alright, if you have any trouble-"

"I know, I can come here," I said.

"Yes," he answered.

"Bye Dad," I called as I walked out the door.

When I got back into the car, Bella was in the midst of chewing Edward out for his attitude.

"Let's just go," I moaned, slumping over in the backseat.

Without a word, Edward accelerated, leaving a wake of dust behind us.

I didn't need to yell at him for pulling out of my Dad's like a maniac, Bella was already on it for me. So I sat in the backseat, trying my hardest to keep calm. Normally, I would have lost my temper by now, but over the last week, I had been doing very well at staying calm.

We arrived at the party, which was being held in some fancy hotel ballroom outside of town, a few minutes after six; no one got out of the car.

"Well, let's go, you wanted to get here so badly," Edward said, looking back at me.

"Edward, don't blame this on me, you are obligated to be here!" I told him.

"Exactly, and so am I, so let's go," Bella said, getting out of the car.

On the way in, Edward walked slightly ahead of us.

"Sorry to drag you into this, I wasn't expecting it," I told Bella sincerely.

"It's not your fault Jacob, let's just go in here and get this over with," she said.

Once inside, I noticed that everyone was taking their seats around large dining tables filled with lots of expensive looking food and drinks.

"Over here," Edward said, showing us our assigned table.

As we sat, we were met with enormous portions of food.

"Wow," I said, looking down at my plate.

"You need to eat it, not look at it," Edward said coldly.

"Yes Jacob, I have to agree with Edward, you need to eat," Bella chimed in.

"I am!" I said, annoyed that they were fussing over me.

For the nest half hour, I sat quietly, eating my dinner. I managed to eat a dinner role, some mashed potatoes, corn and a few bites of chicken, which I found to be a little on the dry side.

"Is that all?" Edward asked, his tone still not to my liking.

"Yes, the chicken is a little dry, plus, I'm not really hungry anymore," I told him.

He didn't answer; he just sat back in his chair and crossed his arms.

As we sat there, one of the professors started announcing achievement awards. The first award was given to Bella, for outstanding achievement in her position as an English TA.

As I watched her accept her award, I noticed that I was extremely thirsty, another side effect that the pills sometimes gave me. To my dismay, I had already drunk my water, along with Edwards.

As I sat there, wishing I had more water, a waiter dressed in a tux came up to me. He held a large trey, filled by delicious-looking red drinks, decorated with fruit floating in them.

"Christmas cocktail?" he asked robotically.

"Sure," I said, accepting the drink.

After taking a sip, I realized this wasn't your average drink. Although it was fruity and refreshing, it had an underlying hint of some kind of alcohol, which at this point, I didn't care about.

I had never been much for drinking, maybe drinking two or three times in my entire life. Tonight was different though; tonight, Edward was being a complete asshole, I was stuck at a party where I knew no one besides Bella and the asshole I was stuck here with and, I was ridiculously thirsty.

So I continued drinking the stupid Christmas cocktail, in hopes that I could make Edward disappear for a while.

When I was about halfway finished, Edward was called up to accept an award for being an outstanding Biology TA.

As he approached the podium, he practically snatched the award from the professor's hands, mumbling an unconvincing "thanks" into the microphone, before returning to his seat.

"He is being a dick," Bella murmured from beside me.

"Tell me about it, this night is just painful," I groaned, taking another sip.

Once all of the teaching awards had been handed out, the professor announced that one selected student from each subject would receive an award.

I had kind of zoned out among the sea of names I didn't recognize, until mine was called for best achievement in psychology.

"Thank you," I said, as I accepted the award, much more graciously then Edward had.

When I got back to my seat, I noticed that my empty cocktail glass was gone, replaced by a new one.

"Did you know about the award?" I asked Bella, sitting back down in my seat.

"Yeah, didn't you get the letter in the mail?" she asked.

"No!" I said, looking over at Edward.

"I was going to let it be a surprise," he said flatly.

"Well it was," I said, turning away from him.

I continued sitting there, sipping my cocktail and listening to random names being called, until finally, the last award was handed out.

"Great, let's go," Edward announced, immediately getting up from his chair.

"Let's," I said, sitting down my empty glass.

As I stood up, I felt slightly lightheaded.

"You ok?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, let's just get out of here," I said.

When I reached the parking lot, the cool air felt good against my unusually warm skin; there must have been more booze in those Christmas cocktails then I thought.

As I was about to climb into the back seat, I felt a hand on my arm.

"Jacob," I heard Edward say.

"Yeah?" I asked, turning to face him.

For a moment, he just stood there looking at me.

"I'm proud of you for getting the award," he said softly.

"Thanks," I smiled, despite myself.

Sometimes, being with Edward was like riding an emotional roller coaster; I had no idea when to expect the peaks and the valleys, and this night was one of those rides.

Without another word, Edward got into the drivers seat and started the engine.

I climbed into the back seat, staying quiet until we reached our house.

"I'll see you tomorrow Jake," Bella said, as I climbed out of her SUV.

"OK, bye Bella," I said.

She didn't say a word to Edward.

"Edward, I think I'm going to go to my Dad's," I told him once Bella pulled away.

"No!" he said firmly.

"Edward, if I want to go to my Dad's I will," I told him.

"You can't," he said harshly.

"And why is that?" I asked, annoyed at his frankness.

"I saw you drinking whatever that shit was and there is no way you're driving to your dad's!" he declared.

"Edward, please, I just want to go to my Dad's and go to sleep, don't make a big deal out of it," I told him.

"Fine, if you want to go, then I'll take you, that's the only way you're going anywhere!" he almost yelled.

"Fine, let's go," I mumbled, getting back into the car.

As we drove quietly along the dark roads, Edward took a turn that definitely didn't lead to my Dad's.

"This isn't the way," I told him.

"I know this," he said simply.

"Then, where are we going?" I asked, feeling like I was about to burst into tears. This had been a very long, emotionally draining evening and I just wanted to go to sleep.

"Jacob, please don't be upset," Edward said abruptly.

"What do you mean, don't be upset? This has been one of the most horrible night I can remember," I cried.

"I know, I'm sorry," he said, sounding sincere enough, but I still wasn't buying it.

"You are not!" I shouted.

"I am," he said, pulling off the road and stopping the car.

"No… you aren't," I repeated, feeling my heartbeat quicken.

"Why do you say that Jacob?" he asked, looking at me from across the car.

"Because-" I said, not able to find the words I wanted.

"Because?" he asked quietly, leaning towards me a little.

"Because, the only reason you're sorry is because the party is over and you can get what you want now!" I exclaimed. "Or, at least you think you can," I finished.

"And what is that?" he asked, a small smile playing on his lips.

"You know," I mumbled, looking out the passenger's side window, "and don't smile, none of this is funny at all," I told him.

"What's so wrong with getting what I want?" he asked coyly.

"Nothing, if you didn't have to go and act like such an ass about it?" I told him. I was still feeling light headed from the party and just wanted to end this conversation, so I could go to sleep.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have acted that way; I just had no desire to go to that… party, if you want to call it that," he said.

"Don't sit there and tell me that's the only reason you acted like that," I accused, deciding to look at him this time, rather then out the window.

"No, it isn't," he admitted, "I just don't feel that you want me anymore."

"Edward stop! You knew I was sick earlier this week and tonight-"

"I know alright! I was just feeling… irrational." He said," I have a hard time controlling certain… things around you," he finished.

I didn't know what to say to him; I was still frustrated at him for acting like a dick and embarrassing me in front of my dad and the school, but I wanted to forgive him. I understood that he wasn't perfect, and neither was I.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" he asked, grasping my hand.

"Yes, I'll stay," I said softly.

He then leaned over, touching my face softly and kissed my lips. After some moments of supple kisses, they deepened and I felt Edwards's soft tongue slide into my warm mouth.

Slowly but surly, he crawled his way over to my side of the car, straddling my lap. Within seconds, my seat was pushed back as far as it could go and I was horizontal in my seat, my feet resting on the dashboard.

"You work fast," I told him breathlessly.

He didn't answer; instead, he resumed his kissing, moving them lower on my body.

This time, I felt relaxed and there was nothing in the world I wanted more then this.

I shivered as I felt cool air against my legs; Edward had swiftly removed my pants and was now lying on top of me, kissing my neck.

"Jacob," he moaned huskily into my ear; I could feel his excitement against my leg, "I'm sorry for the way I am, but I have to have you… I'm addicted," he finished, putting his fingers into my mouth.

Once he got them moist, he slowly removed them from my mouth and wrapped them around himself, slowly moving his hand up and down, until his was completely wet. He then removed his fingers from around himself and slowly slid them inside of me. After a few seconds, he decided that I was ready, and I felt his fingers leave me, replaced by him entering me slowly.

I was a little tight, which he noticed right away.

"Relax," he whispered, whipping some hair out of my face and kissing me gently.

I took a few deep breaths, relaxing as much as possible. As I did so, I felt him enter me completely.

The moon was almost full, illuminating Edward as he made love to me in the front seat of his car.

Needless to say, we didn't make it back home until very late.

On the ride home, I had fallen asleep, barely remembering Edward carrying me to bed.

-------------------

Thanks for the read, let me know how you feel, whether it's good, bad or ugly, it all helps me write more.


	6. The Storm

Chapter 6

**A/N- Sorry it has taken so long for the update. I have been working on this chapter for a long time, writing and rewriting, until finally, I am somewhat satisfied with it. **** I hope everyone enjoys and please give me feedback, it really helps. **

**WARNING- Language is a little at severe at times in this one. **

I was awoken the next morning by the annoying sound of the alarm clock.

"Shudup," I grumbled, smacking it, until it finally stopped beeping.

"Jacob, you need to get up," I heard Edward call.

"Noo," I groaned into the pillow, trying to shield my eyes from the brightness of the room.

"Come on," Edward said, putting his arm around me.

"My head hurts," I whined, turning over and burring it in Edwards chest.

"Serves you right," he teased, "next time, you'll think before drinking that… whatever it was."

"Christmas cocktail," I groaned, burring my head in the pillow once again.

"Well anyway, it's time for you to get up," he announced, yanking the covers off of me.

I curled up in a ball and began shivering.

"Come on!" Edward huffed, dragging me into the bathroom.

Once in the bathroom, Edward started the shower, undressing me as the water warmed up.

"You get in too!" I said, sliding down his boxers, the only article of clothing he wore.

"Well, I guess I can't say no to that," he smirked.

After my shower, I realized it was almost 10:00; Bella would be here soon.

"Hurry up," Edward griped, as he sat on the bed, watching me get ready.

"What's it matter to you?" I asked, running a brush through my wet hair.

"Because, if she get's here and your still getting ready, she'll either give me a lecture or give me the silent treatment, and I really don't wana deal with either of those today," he said simply.

"Maybe you need a lecture," I pointed out, my previous annoyance from the night before flaring up a little.

"I thought I already got one," he said.

"Bella is a much better lecturer then I am," I told him simply.

Before he had time to respond, a knock came from the front door.

"Get that please," I said sweetly, going into the bathroom to finish getting ready.

Instead of answering me, Edward made some sound of annoyance and stomped out of the room to answer the door.

When I finally walked into the living room; I immediately noticed the uncomfortable silence.

"Ready?" Bella asked; I could tell she was relieved to see me.

"I'll be right there," I told her, as she walked out the door.

"Bye," Edward said sullenly.

"What?" I asked, wondering what he was sulking about now.

"I told you she'd do that," he said.

"Well, you two argue all the time, she'll get over it soon enough," I told him. "Anyway, are you going to get the kids from my Dads?"

"Yes, I already spoke to him and when I go over there, he has a million things for me to do," he sighed.

"Serves you right," I laughed.

Edward didn't answer me; he just sat there looking miserable.

"Oh stop," I said, sitting next to him on the sofa.

"I try everything to get in your Dad's good graces, then I go and ruin it in one night," he sighed.

"It wasn't that bad," I told him. "Just be his slave for a day and he'll probably forgive you," I laughed.

"We'll see," he said quietly.

"Alright, I have to get going; I'll be back as soon as possible," I told him, kissing him goodbye.

Once I escaped Edward, I went outside to meet Bella in her SUV.

"Took you long enough," she said, pulling out of the driveway quickly.

"Had to escape his clutches," I laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"I guess I'm better at it then you," she said, a little too much seriousness in her tone.

"Jeez, put the claws away, he's not that bad," I told her.

"And what do you call last night? Shit like that is exactly why we didn't work," she said angrily.

"Well, that's why we work, I can put up with his shit and he can put up with mine," I told her.

"You let him get away with murder," she yelled.

I took a deep breath before speaking again. "Bella, look, I know you're still mad about last night, and to be totally honest, I'm still a little mad myself; nothing gives him the right to act like that," I finished.

"But you forgave him," she pointed out.

"I'm still getting over it, but I love him, even if he did act like an idiot," I told her.

"Glad it's you and not me," she mumbled.

"He does feel bad about it," I told her.

"Good, he should feel bad about it," she shrieked.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that Bella," I said, trying to calm her down.

"It's not your fault, why are you apologizing for him? What is wrong with you Jacob, you act like some kind of zombie, nothing bothers you!" she snapped, continuing to pile on the insults.

"Stop it! Stop calling me a damn zombie, you don't know what you're talking about," I told her firmly.

"That's what you act like," she pushed.

"No, I'm just trying not to let everything bother me, maybe you should try it," I told her.

"Well, some things should bother you," she said darkly.

We drove the rest of the way without saying a word to one another. The stereo played a brooding medley of piano songs, fitting the rainy atmosphere of the day.

As we arrived in Seattle, I looked out the rain splattered window and noticed how busy everything was around me. I wished I could have changed my mind, run home and crawl under a blanket. I didn't want to be stuck in a city where I knew no one with an angry Bella all day; I wished I were anywhere but there.

"Where do you wana go?" Bella asked as we drove along the main drag.

"Wherever," I said, tired of trying to brighten the mood.

Within a few minutes, Bella had pulled into some mall parking lot that was filled to the brim with cars. After some time, she finally managed to find an empty space.

After she turned off the car, we both sat there.

"Jacob?" she asked, looking over at me.

"Yeah?" I said, keeping my eyes fixed on the dashboard.

She paused for a moment, "Look, I'm sorry I called you a zombie, I wasn't trying to piss you off, I'm just worried about you, you're acting weird," she told me.

"I'm fine Bella," I told her quietly.

"Alice still thinks you're up to something," she told me bluntly.

"Well, she can't see me or my future, so she doesn't know what she's talking about," I said back.

"Yeah, I hope so," Bella said softly.

Again, we sat there in silence for an unusually long time.

"I'm sorry Jacob, I didn't mean to make you upset, I just care about you," she said.

"I know," I told her, still looking at the dashboard.

"Well, let's go in and try to make the best of the rest of the day," she told me, trying to lighten the mood for once.

The rest of the day was spent fighting through nameless seas of strangers, until finally, we came out on the other side.

"We're alive!" I announced, happy to finally burst free from the confines of the mall.

"And finished!" Bella said, holding up numerous bags.

Outside, it continued to rain, so we quickly headed for the car and started the long drive home.

"You hungry Jake? I know we didn't have time to stop in the mall," Bella asked as we neared the edge of the city.

"Not really," I told her honestly.

"Did you eat before you left?" she questioned.

"Uh, yeah," I lied, sounding completely unconvincing.

"Liar," she said, smacking my arm.

"Ah," I yelled, "you have to remember, that actually hurts now!" I told her.

"Sorry, I forget about the extra strength sometimes; I was so used to being a weakling," she laughed.

I laughed in return.

"So, where would you like me to stop, so you can get something?" she asked, not letting the food situation drop.

"Uh," I said, looking around at the array of restaurants and fast food chains lining the street. "Wherever is easier to pull into," I told her, unable to make a decision.

We ended up pulling into some Mexican fast food place.

"Is this ok?" she asked, "I used to like this place when I ate," she laughed.

"Yeah, it's fine," I said. Living In a small town my entire life, I never had much opportunity to eat fast food, so I didn't know what I liked and what I didn't.

I ordered two soft tacos and a soda. I was pretty tired from running around all day without eating, so I hoped that the soda would give me some energy.

I ended up drinking the entire soda and eating one taco, plus a few bites of the other one.

"Are you sure you're done?" Bella asked as we drove home.

"Yes Bella, I'm done," I said, annoyed at her fussing.

The soda didn't work, and on the way home, I drifted in and out of sleep.

When we arrived at my house, it had been dark for a while and the kids were already asleep.

"Wow, you guys were gone a long time," Edward said as Bella and I put the bags in the hall closet.

"Yeah, long day," I said, shutting the closet door.

"I rented some movies, if you want to watch one with me," Edward told me as we walked into the living room.

"Sure, I'll watch them with you, until I fall asleep," I told him.

"Bella, do you wana stay and watch?" I asked, knowing she would be spending the evening by herself if she didn't.

She paused contemplatively for a moment, and then looked over at Edward, who was sorting through a pile of DVD's.

"Nah," she sighed, looking sad.

"Bella, you can stay," Edward said, looking up from the stack.

"Now you choose to be nice," she said, giving him a dirty look.

"Bella, I'm sorry for last night, now, would you please stay and watch the movie?" he asked.

"Oh, alright!" she huffed, sitting down on the chair, "But, I'm still mad at you.'

"Fair enough," he said, pressing play.

The little sleep I got in Bella's car ruined my chances of sleeping at all for the rest of the night, so I sat up all night watching movies with Edward and Bella.

The rest of the weekend went by peacefully. Sunday, Edward and I took the kinds out to pick a Christmas tree. It was a little late in the season, but, with all that had been going on, it was the only time we had.

We spent over an hour looking around; most of the good trees had been picked over. As the sun began to set, we finally came across a tree that everyone agreed on.

Willow and Renesme didn't have Kindergarten at all during the week of Christmas, so Monday; we all decorated the tree.

Renesme and Willlow also begged me to make cookies, which I wasn't the best at. However, they actually turned out ok. So, for the rest of the day, I ended up chasing them around, due to their sugar high.

When Tuesday finally rolled around, I began dreading the upcoming evening. I hoped that it wouldn't follow in the same path as the last evening out.

Throughout the day, I kept an eye on Edward, gauging his mood from time to time. He seemed to be fine, playing with the kids, reading the newspaper and watching TV.

Though Edward seemed to be in a good mood; I was stressed. I couldn't take a repeat of the last Christmas party. The prospect of that happening overwhelmed my thoughts for the majority of the day.

_What if Edward acts like an ass and embarrasses us in front of all Carlisle's colleagues? What if I piss him off again and he leaves me sitting all alone at the party? _I thought to myself.

"Jacob?" I heard Edward call, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I asked, startled by his call.

"What's wrong with you today? You seem… tense," he said, eyeing me from his place on the sofa.

"Nuthin," I lied, crossing my arms against my stomach. For once, I wished Edward would actually read my thoughts, then, maybe he'd get a clue.

"You're certain?" he pressed.

"Yep," I answered, popping up from where I sat. "I think I'll start getting ready now," I told him hurriedly, running upstairs to escape his questioning.

I decided that a long shower might help me relax. I turned the water on, letting it brush my fingertips, until I was finally satisfied with the temperature.

I stepped in, allowing the warm water to caress my tense body. As it passed over my shoulders, I could feel the pressure underneath; it felt as though a small golf ball had been lodged under each shoulder. Massaging them gently, I tried to ease the pressure, but to no avail. When I attempted to soothe the pain, it only got worse, so I stood there with my forehead against the cool tile, tears leaking from my eyes.

All of the recent stress was finally getting to me and I couldn't keep it inside any longer. As I stood there, my tears mixing with the water, I thought about everything I had been trying to repress. I thought about my meeting with Carlisle and how I was lying to Edward. I thought about my recent argument with Bella and how she kept calling me a zombie; was I? Also, I thought about the last Christmas party and how Edward treated me. I was angry that he had treated me so badly, when I was trying everything to make myself better for him.

As these thoughts swirled around in my head, deeper, more repressed ones began making their way to the surface. I thought about how I was tired of walking on eggshells around my dad. I knew he disapproved of my relationship with Edward, no matter how nice he tried to be to me lately. I could just picture him, telling everyone from the reservation how stupid I was and how disappointed he was in me. It was hard to have a close relationship with my Dad these days, knowing his underlying feelings.

I was also tired of dealing with the guys in the pack. Most of them were really infuriated at first, concerning my relationship. Now that it is evident to them that the relationship isn't going to end, most of them say they're over it, but I know better. I tried going back to their meetings, but I could tell they didn't want me there, no matter how much they told me otherwise. Besides, it wasn't like there was any immediate threat of rogue vampires attacking us.

Those thoughts, on top of being exhausted, stressed over Christmas and undernourished were breaking me down. I usually didn't take time out to cry, but with me, when it rained it pored, and now; I couldn't stop the flood.

I was so overcome by emotion, that I felt my legs begin to shake. Not feeling strong enough to fight gravity, I allowed my body to slowly slide down the cool tiled wall. The chill of the floor caused me to shiver involuntarily, so I curled up, brining my head to my knees and wrapping my arms around them tightly.

I was so inwardly focused that I didn't hear Edward enter the bathroom. I didn't notice his presence until I heard the shower door slide open. Not wanting him to see me in my current condition, I hid my face further into my knees.

Without saying anything, Edward crossed the short distance between the shower door and where I sat in the corner. He bent down, trying to get me to look at him, but I couldn't. He then sat down next to me and pulled me into his arms. I allowed this, but I still didn't look at him.

We sat there for a long while, Edward holding me and whipping the ever-present tears away, until finally, they began to subside. He then gently began massaging my shoulders. I was about to protest, due to the pain, but, after a few rubs, the tension subsided and I turned into marshmallow fluff. Throughout the experience, we didn't speak a word. When I began to calm, Edward stood, pulling me up with him. As we stood there, face-to-face, warm water pouring over us; Edward gently rubbed shampoo through my hair. Although I had been in the shower for what seemed like forever; I hadn't got around to bathing or washing my hair yet.

Once we were both clean, Edward turned off the water and wrapped us in a big white towel.

"Feel a little better now?" he asked softly, pushing some stray hair out of my face.

I nodded, still unable to bring myself to speak.

After drying me off, Edward and I went into our bedroom, where he laid me on the bed. Before I knew it, he was back in the bathroom and out again in a flash. As he returned, I noticed a small purple glass bottle in his hand.

"Lay on your stomach," he said, still standing beside the bed.

I did as he said, and next thing I knew; I felt Edward climb onto the bed, straddling my butt between his legs, and then sitting down on it gently.

"Comfortable?" I asked, laughing a little at his current position.

"Uhh," he said, wiggling around a little for dramatic effect. "Yeah, I think this will do," he laughed.

"What's in that bottle," I asked, trying to turn my neck, so that I could see.

"Shush," he laughed, playfully pushing my face into a pillow.

For the next few minutes, it was quiet. All I could hear was the sound of Edward shaking the little bottled, then opening the lid. I was about to speak again, and ask him what he was doing, when I felt a smooth silky sensation run over my lower back. As I felt the liquid glide over my skin, an aroma that matched the wonderful sensation I felt through my body drifted though the air, filling my nose with unmistakable notes of lavender.

It felt so great and smelled so wonderful that I could not speak. I breathed in and breathed out, making small involuntary noises as Edwards cool hands glided up and down my warm back.

I felt his hands pause for a moment; seconds later, I heard soft Spanish guitar coming from the speakers in our room. As the music began to play, Edward resumed his ministrations.

"I want you to go to sleep," he said softly in my ear.

"But-" I said, but was cut off.

"Jacob, we have three hours before we have to leave," he told me softly.

I yawned and lay by head back down on the pillow as Edward continued to rub his hands over my back. The gentle music and his calming touches began to lull me to sleep, which was something I hadn't been able to achieve in a while.

An hour and a half later, I was awoken in almost the same manor I had fallen asleep. Only this time, Edward lay behind me, his hand rubbing my arm gently.

"Time to wake up now," he said gently.

"Okay" I whispered, my throat dry from sleep. I then leaned back, pressing my body closer to his.

"Did you have a nice nap?" he asked, nuzzling my cheek and rubbing my exposed stomach.

"Yeah," I replied, happy to be sharing the moment of closeness.

"Good," he said, smiling slightly.

It was at this time, that I decided to roll over and look into his eyes. I could tell that he was happy but I could also see the hint of lust flickering beneath the surface. Normally, I would have been happy to know the vampire was lusting over me, but not this time.

All I could think of when I looked into his eyes was last time. Last time I saw that look in his eyes, things had gone horribly and I just couldn't deal with that kind of situation again; I had way to many other things to be stressing over.

Without realizing it, I backed away from him, putting a small distance between our bodies, that, just seconds ago, had been almost melted together. I was also unaware that I had begun to breathe heavily.

"Jacob?" he asked, obvious concern in his voice.

"Yeah," I asked, looking away from him.

"Why are you acting like this? You act like I've hurt you," he said; I could see the sadness in his eyes. His eyes were so expressive; one minute they conveyed happiness and lust and the next, sadness. I knew I was responsible for all of those emotions, and wished that sometimes, I could loose my power over them.

"No," I said tentatively, "you didn't do anything, I just, " I said, unable to find the words to finish my sentence.

"I know you're still upset about what happened last time, but I want to make you realize I made a mistake and I'm sorry. All I want is for you to be comfortable and content," he told me.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that, I'm just being stupid," I explained, leaning back into him.

He didn't answer, only looked at me with the same sad expression.

"Edward, please don't look at me like that, I'm sorry," I told him again.

"You acted like I was going to hurt you or something," he said softly.

"No, I just have a lot on my mind today; you didn't do anything," I told him, wishing I hadn't acted like a spaz.

"Apparently I did," he said seriously.

I placed my hand over my eyes and squeezed them shut. "I'm sorry; when I saw you looking at me, it brought back some unpleasant memories," I told him. "I just didn't want the night to start out like last time."

I removed my hand from my eyes and looked over at Edward; I could tell he didn't know what to say.

"Please forget about it; I didn't mean to pull away from you, I'm just feeling anxious today," I told him, hoping that he would understand.

"I've noticed," he laughed, an emotion I was not expecting from him.

"So, does that mean you forgive me?" I asked, smiling and trying to look innocent.

Edward laughed again and pulled me on top of him. "Yes, just chill out, nothing bad is gong to happen tonight," he assured me.

"_Easy for him to say," _I thought to myself, hoping that he didn't catch it.

"Come on, it's time to start getting ready now," he told me, pushing me off of him gently. "I got everything ready for you, so you wouldn't have to rush," he said as he walked to the door.

"Thanks, I'll be down in a little bit," I told him.

Once he had shut the door, I sat back down on the bed, cursing myself for making Edward feel bad. I knew he was trying to make me feel relaxed and instead of letting him; I acted like a dumb ass. I knew I needed to de-stress, which meant letting things go, but for some reason, I was having a hard time doing that lately.

Tired of dwelling on my thoughts, I stood up and started getting ready. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and fix my hair; it had gotten pretty wild during my nap. I had been keeping my hair kind of short lately, not as short as it had been when I first became a wolf, but short none-the-less. When I found out that I was going to have the twins, my hair had been getting long again, but, I had to cut it off because it was making me way to hot during pregnancy.

I took a squirt bottle from under the sink, filled it and sprayed some water on my hair. Once it was damp, I combed it, parted it on the left side and let a little fall to the front, near my right eye. Once I was happy with the style, I put some gel in to keep it in place.

As I walked from the bathroom back into our bedroom, I noticed Edward had laid my suit out for me on the bed. I smiled, knowing he had been thinking of me.

I had to admit, although I wasn't that fond of stuffy Christmas parties, I was looking forward to wearing my suit. A few weeks ago, I had asked Alice to go shopping with me to find something to wear to the party. I wanted to look my best at the party and I knew she was the best when it came to clothes

I never had much use for suits or dress clothes growing up. The only thing I owned was an ill fitting black suit and a plain white dress shirt. So, when we went shopping, I wanted to make sure I got something I actually liked and that I could wear for a long time. If I was going to spend that much money on one thing, it had to be something special. I smiled a little, remembering the experience.

_Alice and I looked around for at least two hours before I finally decided on which suit to buy. _

"_You're an unlikely shopping buddy," she told me as we walked to the register. _

"_Just this once," I told her, placing the suit on the counter. _

_As I was about to pay, Alice scooted me out of the way. "I got it Jake," she told me_

"_Alice… I didn't ask you to come so you could buy it for me," I informed her. _

"_Oh shut up, I actually had a fun time and I want to buy it for you to show my appreciation," she told me. _

"_Wow, I guess we should do fun things more often; next time, lets go to Auto Zone," I laughed. _

"_Just this once," she said, mocking my earlier comment. _

_After Alice paid, we walked to her over-the-top, even for me, yellow car. _

"_So, you guna let me drive this beat?" I asked, not really expecting her to let me. _

"_Since I'm in such a giving mood, sure, but just this once," she laughed, tossing me the keys. _

_As we left the parking lot, I noticed her looking at me from the corner of her eye. _

"_So why were you so worried about finding this perfect suit anyway? I don't think I've ever seen you worry about what to wear," she said, still looking at me. _

"_I don't want to be the one looking like… you know, " I said, not wanting to actually say the words. _

"_Like what Jake?" she asked, obviously not getting my point. _

"_You know, the poor one," I groaned. "Everyone is going to be looking at me anyway, so, I figured, why not at least look my best for them," I said, trying to laugh a little. _

"_Why would they be looking at you Jake, did you do something?' she asked; she never seemed to get the point of what I was trying to say. _

"_Alice, all those people there are going to be rich, big-shots. Whenever I see them around town, they are always whispering about me and Edward, and the… situation," I said darkly. "Plus, I don't want to embarrass Edward or your parents by looking like a bum," I finished. _

"_Jacob, why are you worried about any of those people? You never cared about them or what they thought before," she said, concern in her voice. _

"_All the talking starts getting to you after a while Alice," I informed her. _

"_People talk about my family all the time. If I worried about them, I'd never be able to leave my house," she told me. _

"_Yeah, well you didn't sleep with your best friends husband, then get pregnant at the same time as her," I reminded her. _

"_Well, there is a lot more to it then that," she informed me. _

"_They don't know that," I retorted. _

"_EXACTLY! So don't worry about it," she yelled, grabbing my shoulder and shaking me gently. _

"_Your right," I sighed, pulling_ into the driveway.

"_Alright, get out of my car, I have an appointment to get to," she said, pushing me from the passengers seat. "Go show Edward your new duds, he'll think you look sexy," she laughed, before pulling away._

Once I was dressed and ready, I looked at the clock and noticed that it was getting late. Taking one last glace in the mirror, I ran downstairs, so that Edward could start getting ready.

As I reached the bottom of the stairs, I noticed that Edward was looking at me.

"You look just terrible," he said, and then burst out laughing.

"Oh, ha! How is that funny?" I asked, offended by his remark.

"You said you didn't want to start the night out like last time. And if I remember correctly, last time, I said you looked great," he laughed.

I stared at him in bewilderment for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. When I saw that he was walking toward me, I stepped back; his shirt was covered in some kind of goo, most likely from the babies.

"Don't get any closer," I warned, putting my hands out to block him.

He glanced down at his shirt, yanking it off abruptly. "Sorry, forgot about that," he laughed, then crossed the rest of the distance between us. I felt his hands rub up and down my sides gently, as he continued to look at me.

I could tell he liked what he saw, which made me feel good, but also nervous. The suit I wore was a medium grey with a slight metallic sheen to it. I decided to pair it with a black dress shirt and silver swirl tie.

"Go get ready," I scolded playfully.

He gave me once last glance, sighed then went upstairs.

After Edward came back downstairs, we loaded up all the unnecessary things Willow insisted on bring along to my Dads.

This ride to my Dad's went a lot smoother then the last. Bella wasn't with us, so I wasn't crammed in the back seat with baby seats and toys. Also, Edward and I weren't fighting, which was always a plus. The only negative part of the ride was Willow complaining about having to sit between the two car seats.

"Hurry up Dad, it's cramped back here," she whined as Edward drove to my Dad's.

"We'll get there soon, quit whining," he told her.

"We need a big car like Bellas," she told him.

He didn't answer.

I always wondered why Edward never got a bigger car, seeing as we had so many kids to hall around. He made sure that Bella had a nice big car and she only had Renesme and sometimes Willow. I never wanted to come right out and ask him, because, I didn't want to come off as being greedy or unappreciative, but, I really did wonder. But, those were thoughts for another time.

"It's going to be so boring there without Renesme," she continued, interrupting my previous thoughts.

"You brought enough stuff to keep yourself busy for days," I told her, "plus, you can help your Grandfather with the twins."

"I will," she groaned as we pulled up to his house.

We all went inside and got things set up for the babies. It was hard for my Dad to set up cribs, high chairs and playpens, so we tried to do as much as possible to make things comfortable for him.

"Well, you guys seem a lot happier this time around," he told us as we unpacked.

"Yeah," I laughed, remembering the last time Edward and I had been at his house.

We said goodbye to Willow, who refused to give us hugs; she was still mad that her sister wasn't there to keep her company. After finally giving up on the hugs, we gave the babies lots of hugs and kisses. It was only the third time they had spent the night away from me since they had been born and I still didn't like it.

"Thanks again for watching them," Edward said, "We'll be back over in the morning to get them."

"It's fine; I just want you two to relax and have a good time tonight," he told us as we walked out onto the porch. "It doesn't seem like you have enough of those lately," he said, almost sadly.

"As good of a time as we can at a stuffy Christmas party," Edward told him.

"Screw the Christmas party," my Dad said. "I know it's important for Carlisle's hospital, but make an appearance, then get the hell out of there and do something fun," he laughed.

"I intend to," Edward said, rubbing my arm.

"As long as it doesn't involve making new Grandchildren, go for it," my Dad said.

"Ok, we better be going," I said quickly, wanting to avoid that conversation. "The sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave."

"See you guys tomorrow," my Dad said as he rolled into the house and closed the door.

As we drove down the road, Edward hummed and sang along quietly to the Radiohead CD that was playing. I, on the other hand, stayed silent.

After a few songs had played, Edward looked over at me curiously.

"Why so quiet?" he asked.

"Miss them already," I told him, a glum expression on my face.

"I know, you always miss them a lot at fist, but think of the fun we can have," he said lightly.

"Ohh yeah, par-tay," I said sarcastically.

"I don't mean there," he pointed out.

"Oh," I laughed halfheartedly, "lets just try to make it through this first."

"Party pooper," Edward teased as he continued to drive to the party.

Once we arrived; I noticed that the event was being held in the same hotel ballroom as the last.

"Oh great," I mumbled as we exited the car.

"Don't start," Edward grumbled, hitting the lock button.

As I started the slow walk towards the dreaded building, Edward called me back over to where he stood, next to the car.

"What," I groaned, not wanting to prolong the experience any further.

He didn't answer; Instead, he waited until I was close and pulled me in tightly.

"What?" I repeated, though more pleasantly then before: the closeness momentarily allowing me to forget the impending night.

"It will be fine baby, don't worry," he comforted as he rubbed his cheek against mine and kissed me softly. "I love you," he added, before finally releasing me from his strong embrace.

As we began walking towards the party, Edward grabbed my hand, keeping me close as we walked through the entrance

"It's about time you got here," I heard Alice chirp as we entered the large ballroom. Alice wore a black silk cocktail dress with a large red rose adorning the left shoulder.

"Did you miss us that much?" I asked, looking over at Edward, who was frowning.

"He knows why," Alice laughed.

"Why?" I asked, again looking at Edward.

"She wants me to go with her and talk to the Director of the hospital about some fundraiser; I could hear her before we eve entered the building," he sighed.

As we stood there talking, a waiter carrying a large round trey filled with Champaign flutes came over, handing us each one, then disappeared before I had a chance to decline.

I sniffed the amber liquid and wrinkled my nose. Although it smelled kind of fruity, it also had an underlying musty smell that I didn't care for.

"What am I suppose to do with this?" I asked.

"Stand there and look cure I guess," Edward laughed.

"Don't listen to him Jacob; you're suppose to use it as an accessory," she informed me.

"An accessory?" I asked confusedly.

"Watch and learn," she laughed.

As I watched Alice, she walked up to me as though we had never met. "I'm Alice and you are?" she asked, placing one hand on her hip and pretending to sip the champagne with the other, all the while, batting her eyelashes at me.

We both burst out laughing. "That was ridiculous Alice," I said, continuing to laugh.

"Now you give it a try," she giggled, "I can't wait to see this."

I was board out of my head, so I thought I'd give it a try. After a second of preparation for my role, I walked over to Edward. "Hey sexy, where ya from?" I asked, batting my lashes and pretending to sip from my glass.

The look on Edwards face was somewhere between horrified and amused. "It seems I can't take you anywhere," he chuckled, pulling me in close and kissing my cheek.

I could hear Alice in the background laughing hysterically. She then abruptly stopped and called Edwards name.

"Edward, there he is, now's our chance," she said in a harsh whisper.

"Ugh, I'm coming," he said, then turned to me. "I'll be back in a few minutes; when I get back, you'll dance with me?" he asked in a very low tone, which I found alluring.

"Hurry back and you'll find out," I said softly, giving him my most innocent smile.

"Hold this please," he said quickly, handing me his class and rushing away.

While he was off harassing the hospital director with Alice, I decided to walk around the room and look for the rest of Edwards's family.

First, I spotted Rosalie and Emmitt. I could tell by the way Rosalie was acting; she thought she looked beautiful, and was flirting with anyone who came near her. I could tell by the expression on Emmitt's face that he was not pleased, so; I decided to leave that situation alone and look for someone else to talk to.

Next, I spotted Carlisle and Esme, who looked to be having a very important discussion with some of Carlisle's colleagues, so; I decided not to bother them.

Finally, I spotted Jasper, who apparently also got roped into harassing the hospital director.

With a sigh of frustration, I decided to find a spot to sit down; my dress shoes were starting to hurt my feet a little.

As I scoped the room for a seat, I caught a glimpse of another familiar face, though, this one, I had no desire to talk to. I looked away quickly, hoping that I wasn't spotted. A few moments later, I found a seat in the corner of the large oak L shaped bar that sat in the corner of the room. The corner was dark and out of the way of the rest of the mingling party guests, which I was thankful for.

I was beginning to get irritated that Edward had been gone for almost a half hour. I came to this party because Edward hated coming to these things by himself, now, he was leaving me by myself, so; what was the point of me being there? I was also irritated that Corey was here and although it wasn't Edwards fault, I was directing my anger at the situation towards him.

After a while of sitting there, I decided that I was tired of holding onto the stupid glasses and sat them down on the bar. I must have sat them down harder then I thought, because some splashed onto my hand. Wanting to get the sticky liquid off as soon as possible, I quickly put my hand to my mouth and licked the Champaign off.

To my surprise, it actually tasted pretty good. I never really had much experience with drinking. From an early age, my Dad forbid us to ever drink, explaining that alcoholism was a large problem in Native American communities. He told me if he ever caught me drinking, he'd kick me out of his house. When I moved out, I never drank because I was pregnant and busy raising a family.

I never really got to experience being a teenager, in the since that I never went away to college, lived in a dorm or went to parties. That fact never really bothered me; I just sometimes wondered if I had grown up to fast.

Sitting there by myself, I decided that I'd try a new experience. Picking up the flute, I took a healthy sip. After a few seconds of contemplation, I decided I liked it and finished the rest. Once a few more minutes had passed and Edward still wasn't back, I decided to drink his too.

As I sat the glass down and turned around, I saw Edward walking towards me.

"Hey," he said, quickly walking over to me.

"Hey," I said, aggravated at him for leaving me alone so long.

"Sorry I was gone so long; the director actually wanted to listen to Alice," he laughed.

I didn't laugh, in fact, I didn't even smile; he knew I was pissed.

"Jacob, I'm sorry, I really am," he said, taking my chin in his hand. "Now, how about that dance?" he asked, giving me a small smile.

"I recall telling you to hurry back, so sorry, the offer has expired," I told him, half serious.

"Please," he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me from my seat.

"Oh fine," I sighed and walked to the dance floor with him.

After dancing for a while, I was in a better mood. I was happy to have Edward close to me and not be sitting alone in a corner anymore. As we ended out dance, Edward pulled me close, kissing me not so gently on the lips.

I kissed back, wanting to get the hell out of there and go home, so I could have Edward all to myself. Edward ended the kiss sooner then I would have liked, so I leaned forward to let him know I wasn't finished.

"Jacob, what did you do with those champagne glasses?" he asked before I could continue the kiss; I could tell he was serious.

"They're on the bar," I told him, hoping that he would find the comment amusing; he didn't.

"I can taste it on you," he told me, a stern expression on his face.

"I just tried it Edward, it's not like I got wasted or anything," I told him. "Plus, you left me all alone and I got curious," I pouted, hoping that would at least make him crack a smile.

Abruptly, he started dancing with me again. "I just want to keep you safe," he told me.

"I know, but I am a grown-up now," I teased.

"Yeah, that's what scares me," he sighed, giving me a sad smile.

I wondered what he meant by that, but decided to ask later, not wanting to put any more of a damper on the evening.

"Cheer up," I told him, "and remember, I love you."

"I love you too," he said, holding me tighter.

I smiled. "So, ready to get outa here?" I asked.

"Definitely; let's go tell Carlisle and Esme bye, then we'll go," he told me.

As we turned around to find Carlisle and Esme, I noticed that Carlisle was approaching us.

"Hey, I was looking for you two," he said with a smile.

"You looked busy earlier, so I didn't want to bother you," I told him.

"Oh please; I wish you would have; I can't seem to get away for two seconds," he said; I could tell he wanted to go home too.

I laughed and we all started talking about our spring baseball season.

"Edward is teaching the girls how to play," I told him.

"Great, how are they doing?" he asked.

"Terrible," Edward answered bluntly.

"He tells them you're terrible too," I told Carlisle.

"Is that so?" he asked, giving Edward a look. "We'll just see about that come spring," Carlisle said.

Edward and I burst out laughing at Carlisle's attempt at sounding mad.

As I was about to tell Carlisle that we were on our way out, a professor that I recognized from the college came up to us.

"Edward, may I speak with you for a moment?" he asked.

"Um, sure," he said, sending me a pleading look. "I'll be with you in a moment."

"Please don't take forever this time; I want to get out of here," I told him.

"I promise to be back shortly," he said, kissing me quickly then walking away.

I turned back to Carlisle, about to continue our conversation, when a very important looking man approached him.

"Here we go again," he whispered to me, then walked away with the man.

There I was, alone again. Sighing, I walked back to my seat and started moping. As I sat there, I saw Corey and his stupid boyfriend dancing like drunken idiots, which put me in an even worse mood. I turned around to face the bar, so I wouldn't have to look at them anymore, when a woman approached me.

The woman was probably in her late 40's and had long straight blonde hair. I could also tell she had had a lot of plastic surgery, along with a pair of fake boobs that were popping out of her tight red dress.

"Why so sad honey?" she asked, in a voice that said she smoked at least a pack a day.

"I'm just board, my boyfriend keeps leaving me sitting here by myself," I told her, not really sure why I was divulging this information to a complete stranger. I guess I was just thankful for someone to talk to.

"Screw him, let's have some fun," she said, tapping her fake nails on the bar to get the bartenders attention. "Two lemon drops, and keep em comin'," she said loudly.

"Oh, well I really can't; I don't think my boyfriend would really appreciate it, plus I don't have any mon-" I tried to say, but was cut off.

"You don't need any money, I'm a Doctors wife, so we're covered," she laughed.

"Still, I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate me drinking anymore," I told her.

"You're with Carlisle's boy right?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, wondering what she was getting at.

"That bunch is so stuffy, they need to lighten up if you ask me," she said, taking a long sip from her glass.

"They're just a little different," I said, not really liking how she was talking about the Cullen's.

"Come on, your young, have a little fun for Christ's sake," she hollered, finishing the rest of her drink.

I looked around to see if Edward was on his way back yet. When I didn't see him anywhere, I started getting pissed again; he had been gone almost a half-hour again.

"Fine, I'll try one, but only one," I told her, picking up the glass she had shoved at me. I took a big gulp, thinking it was going to be sweet, which it wasn't; instead, it was so strong and sour, I almost spit it out. After a few seconds, I forced myself to swallow. "That one's definitely not for me," I coughed.

"Need somthin' to wash it down with sweetie?" she asked in her raspy voice.

I nodded.

"Two fuzzy navels!" she yelled across the bar.

I was about to tell her that I was thinking something more along the lines of water, when the bartender placed the drinks in front of us.

"Don't worry, this one wont hurt as much," she laughed and started sipping her drink.

I tasted mine hesitantly and was surprised when it actually tasted good. It tasted like oranges and pineapple; so, I figured there wasn't much alcohol in it.

"Much better," I told her, "this one isn't as strong."

"Tastes can be deceiving," she said, finishing hers.

When I was finished my drink, I turned around to look for Edward again; he was still nowhere to be found.

"Where the hell is he?" I said to no one in particular.

"Still lookin' for that boyfriend of yours?" she asked.

"Yeah," I sighed.

"Well, he doesn't seem to care that he left you here, so why don't you just relax and have some fun?" she asked.

"That's starting to sound like a good idea," I told her. I was getting tired of Edward's Christmas party bullshit, so I decided, as long as he was going to leave me here, I might as well make the best of it.

As I was about to turn around and face the bar, the champagne guy came by again, handing us each a glass.

"Yum, I like this stuff," I told her, beginning to feel a little tipsy.

"It's not really my thing," she said, sliding her flute over to my side, "I prefer the harder stuff."

I continued sipping the champagne, while she ordered us two more fuzzy navels.

"So, which Doctor is your husband?" I asked; I was curious which Doctor would actually marry a woman like her.

"Over there," she pointed to a tall handsome man in a black tux. "He was my plastic surgeon first, then we fell in love," she told me.

"That's cool," I told her, not really sure what to say.

"Nah, not really," she said, "it turns out, he's a cheating bastard, so I just stick around for the money and the free booze," she laughed.

"Oh," I said, finishing the rest of my champagne and wishing I wouldn't have asked.

"Come on, drink up," she said, sliding a fuzzy navel towards me.

Again, I turned around to look for Edward. This time, I found him standing across the room with Corey clinging to his arm.

I spun back around quickly, not wanting to find Edward anymore. I must have spun to quickly, because the room started spinning and I almost fell out of my chair.

"Calm down honey, what's the problem?" the woman in red asked.

I couldn't answer; I was to mad, so I pointed behind me.

I saw her turn her stool around, then quickly turn it back again. "Why don't you go over there and kick that little bitches ass?" she asked.

"I wish I could, but I don't want to ruin Carlisle's party," I told her. Not wanting to dwell on it anymore, I decided to pretend that Edward didn't exist. "New plan," I said, "let's have the craziest night of our lives," I told her.

"That's more like it," she said and ordered more drinks, while I waved the champagne guy over once again.

A half hour later, many champagne flutes and a ton of empty jello shots sat n front of us.

"I wana turn around and see what they're doing, bu-but I think if I turn around, I might falls over," I laughed.

"That would be hilarious!" she shouted, and then busted out laughing.

"You're really loud," I told her, continuing to laugh.

"I need a smoke, wana join me?" she asked, standing up from her seat; I had no idea how she was managing to stand.

"Nah, it's not my thing and neither is standing," I laughed.

"Suite yourself," she said, and then turned to walk outside.

"Oh, hey, what was your name, I don't think you told me," I asked.

"Does it matter?" she laughed, and then was gone.

For some reason, I found this to be the funniest thing I had ever heard and couldn't stop laughing. Once I settled down, I noticed she had left a full Jello shot sitting on the bar. Not really having the ability to reason properly, I decided she wouldn't mind if I took it; hell, she had been buying me drinks all night, what was one more?

As I reached my greedy little hand out to take the drink, a much colder, paler hand took a hold of me, smashing my hand to the bar. Before I had a chance to react, the hand grabbed my wrist forcefully and spun me around. Although my chair stopped spinning, I didn't and had to put my head on my assailants' chest to keep from falling over.

"OW!" I said, looking up at my attacker. When I realized who it was, I felt my eyes grow large and I slumped back into my seat.

"What is wrong with you?" Edward growled, looking as if he were about to kill me.

"You!" I snapped, my anger at him taking over my previous good mood.

Before he had a chance to respond, I saw Carlisle come up behind him and push him gently to the side.

"Edward, go clam down, Jacob, you come with me," he said hurriedly, taking me by the arm and practically dragging me out a small side door.

Before I knew it, we were in the fire escape stairwell and Carlisle was sitting me on a flight of cold dusty stairs.

"Jacob," he said firmly, hovering over me.

I looked at him, letting him know I was listening. The last thing I wanted was to talk and make myself look like even more of an idiot in front of him. After all, he had done so much for me.

"Jacob, do you remember what you promised me?" he asked, taking a seat next to me on the cold step.

"I don't know what you mean," I told him honestly.

"When I decided to help you, what did I ask you?" he said calmly.

I thought for a moment. "You said to follow the directions," I told him, glad that I finally remembered what he was talking about.

"It doesn't look like you did that," he told me with a hint of frustration in his voice.

Again, I thought for a moment, wondering what he was talking about, when realization finally set in.

"It said no drinking," I told him, looking down at the floor. "I'm sorry Carlisle, I had forgotten all about that," I told him honestly.

"I don't ever want to see this kind of behavior from you again. If I ever do, I wont be able to help you any longer," he told me firmly.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again," I told him. I had never seen Carlisle this angry with anyone before, and of course, that someone just had to be me.

"Not only did you break your promise, but you disrespected me at my own party by acting this way," he continued.

"I didn't mean to," I told him quietly.

"I don't think you know what respect is Jacob, because I certainly haven't seen it from you lately," he finished.

I didn't know what to say to him, so I continued staring at the floor, afraid that if I looked at him, I might start crying.

"I'll send Edward in to take you home now. I want you to go directly to bed when you get home, do you understand?" he asked.

"Yes," I said quietly as I watched him walk out the door.

Moments later, Edward walked through the door; I could tell he was calmer then before.

"Come on, let's go," he told me, handing me my coat.

As I took my coat, I immediately felt my anger rise.

"I'm not goin with you," I told him harshly and threw the coat back at him.

"Jacob, please don't do this, let's just go home," he said, running a hand through his hair; I could tell he was getting stressed out.

"If you wana go home so bad, why don't you take Corey with you; I'll stay right here," I told him

"I said we're going home now," Edward hissed, grabbing me by the arms and picking me up harshly. He positioned me so that my torso was draped over his shoulder, otherwise, my feet would have drug the ground. I didn't like this position; all the blood was rushing to my head.

"Let me go!" I shouted as I kicked and wriggled, trying to free myself from his death grip.

As we approached the exit, Edward stopped abruptly. "Try to kick me again beast, I dare you," he growled.

No matter how drunk I was, that comment hurt. I thought we had gotten past the name calling crap years ago, even if we were mad at each other. I guess I knew how Edward really felt about me deep down, and it hurt.

"Beast?" I shouted, "I fucking hate you Edward!"

Without another word, Edward kicked the exit door open, leaving a nice footprint shaped dent in it.

The cold winter air hit me abruptly, cooling my hotter-then-usual skin.

A few moments later, we had reached the car, which was parked on the side of the large circular driveway that surrounded the building.

Edward opened the passenger door quickly and stood me on my feet, still holding my arm. "Get in," he said hurriedly, letting go of my arm.

"No," I said, slamming the door. I must have slammed to hard, because the force sent me flying in the opposite direction. That, or I was just to drunk to slam a door properly without falling over. Ether way, next thing I knew, I had landed on the small embankment next to the car.

"Get up," Edward said, his voice low yet venomous.

"No, you called me a beast, I'm not going anywhere with you!" I told him matter-of-factly.

"Maybe if you weren't acting like one, I wouldn't feel the need," Edward told me.

"You know what you are Edward, you're a two-timing asshole, so cut the bullshit and tell me the truth!" I shouted, beginning to feel my body tremble.

"Jacob calm down, just get in the car and we'll talk about this later," he told me, his anger fading. In fact, he looked almost afraid.

"Don't try to be nice now, you started this shit, now fucking deal with it!" I yelled as I picked up a baseball-sized rock and hurled it at his taillight; it shattered instantly.

Again, instead of looking angry, he looked scared. "Jacob, plea-" he tried to say, but I cut him off.

"No, you need to tell me why you wanted me to come to this damn party with you so much, if you were just planning to spent it with everyone but me, especially Corey!" I screamed.

Before he had time to answer, I saw a figure approaching him from behind.

"Yeah Cullen, why don't you listen to little Pocahontas over there and stay the fuck away from Corey," he said menacingly.

Without speaking a word, Edward swiftly shifted his upper-body in Derik's direction and punched him square in the face, his feet never moving the entire time.

As Derik sailed halfway across the driveway, Edward turned back to me as if nothing had happened.

"Please get in the car, I can't take much more of this," he pleaded.

As I was about to refuse again, I saw Alice running towards us.

"Edward, what the hell is wrong with you?" she shrieked, jumping over Derik to get to us.

I found the scene to be comical and began to laugh.

"And you!" she shouted, throwing her red flower angrily at me.

"Don't yell at Jacob!" Edward yelled at Alice.

"Sorry Jacob," she said sweetly, but I could tell she wasn't. "Anyway, what is wrong with you, you can't just go around punching people, you could have killed him!" she screamed at Edward.

"I made sure to punch him lightly," he told he simply. "Besides, this is none of your business Alice!" he continued, his voice rising with each word.

"It is when you decide to embarrass the entire family, that's it, I'm uninviting you to Christmas," she shrieked.

"You can't fucking do that, only Carlisle and Esme can!" Edward roared.

The two continued to argue like that for the next few minutes. I was just glad the attention was finally off of me. At least, that was until I heard a set of tires roll onto the gravel driveway.

As I looked up to see whom the car belonged to, I was surprised to see a set of blue and red flashing lights.

"_Oh shit, it's Charlie"_ I thought to myself, but was unsure of what to do.

"Now look what you did!" Alice yelled at Edward.

Edward didn't answer; instead, he scooped me up from the ground, opened the passenger door and tossed me inside. He also entered the car from the passenger side, quickly climbing over me and starting the engine.

"Edward stop!" I heard Alice shout, but it was to late. By then, Edward had put the car in drive and was speeding around the driveway, leaving a wake of pebbles behind him. As we sped by, I saw the rest of Edward's family plus a few others standing outside the building, looking horrified.

As we drove towards the exit, I noticed that Charlie's car was blocking it. Deciding that Charlie wasn't going to stop him, Edward went off-roading. When we drove into the grass, I noticed, in order to get to the road, we would have to go down a small hill, which really wasn't meant for cars that were low to the ground.

Without warning, Edward accelerated as we approached the hill, sending the car airborne for a split second. As the car landed, I saw sparks fly out from underneath.

"Oh my god Edward, this is a bad idea," I said, beginning to panic.

"Quiet!" he snapped; he was back to being angry with me again. He was really starting to confuse me at this point.

"The only reason I was nice to you back there was so that you wouldn't flip out and shift into some crazy drunken wolf and terrorize the entire town," he explained, picking up speed as Charlie's sirens began to sound.

"Charlie is going to get you!" I said angrily, leaning over to Edward's side of the car.

"Like hell he will," Edward spat as he pushed me forcefully against the back of my seat, also pushing the recline lever. "Now, stay that way!" he growled.

After being pursued by Charlie for about two miles, Edward finally lost him on some windy country road that I wasn't even familiar with. As we continued to drive in silence, I could feel my eyes getting heavy and before long, I was asleep.

When I woke up again, it was pitch black and I was still inside the car, though it wasn't moving anymore. I looked over and noticed that Edward was no longer beside me. Sitting up, I looked through the windshield, expecting to see our house, figuring Edward had just left me in the car. Instead, all I saw was darkness on either side of me.

Not knowing where I was or where Edward had gone unsettled me, so I decided to get out of the car and find some answers.

I opened the door tentatively and stood, still wobbly, so I knew not much time had passed. After steadying myself on the door, I slowly began to walk forward, tripping a little along the way.

I hadn't gotten very far, when I felt an arm hitting me behind the knees, dropping me to the ground. When I landed, I must have hit a rock, because a sharp pain jolted up my tailbone.

I groaned in pain and rolled onto my side.

"I hate you," I said, knowing it was Edward who had knocked me to the ground.

"I'm sorry," he said stiffly, rubbing my tailbone, "I couldn't let you go any further."

"Why not?" I asked curtly

Not answering, Edward grabbed my hand, pulling me into a sitting position and pointed straight ahead.

As my eyes began to adjust to the darkness, I realized we were on top of a very high, very rocky cliff that overlooked angry sounding waters.

"Were you planning to throw me off?" I asked, still not really able to reason properly.

"If I planed to, why would I have just saved you from walking over the edge?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

I didn't answer; I felt to stupid. My head was beginning to hurt and I just wanted the night to end.

"Then why are we here?" I asked, pulling my knees to my chest and hugging them tightly.

"It's a quiet thinking spot," Edward answered, "or, at least it was until you decided to wake up."

I lay back down on the ground and curled up in a ball. I was upset about the night and the path it had taken. All the worrying and preparation I had taken for the party was now in vain and I felt defeated. I wanted answers from Edward, but at that point, I was too exhausted and too upset to care.

As I lay there, the sound of branches quietly cracking caught my attention.

Edward and I both looked over our shoulders to see a large figure briskly approaching. Before the figure approached, it ducked behind a tree and rustled around for a bit, before finally immerging; I could tell immediately that it was someone from my pack.

"Sam?" Edward questioned, standing up and walking towards the figure.

"Have you lost your mind Cullen?" he asked seriously.

Edward didn't answer; he just stood there staring at Sam.

"You need to go home now and so do you!" he said, pointing at me angrily.

"We were getting to that," Edward told him.

"Charlie was about to send the entire squad out for your asses, but I convinced him that I could find you quicker myself," Sam continued.

"Thank you," Edward said gratefully.

""Don't think you're out of the woods yet Cullen, when you get back, your toast," Sam told Edward. "And you," he said, pointing at me again. "You're not even worth my time right now, but tomorrow will be a different story."

Before leaving, Sam turned to Edward again. "Please get him home before anything else goes wrong," he said, then phased and ran off into the woods.

Wordlessly, Edward picked me up and carried me to the car; this time, I didn't fight when he put me inside.

The drive home was nothing less then tense. Unable to tolerate the uncomfortable silence, I leaned my seat back and fell asleep.

I woke again to the feeling of the car coming to a stop. This time, I felt sick and didn't move from my reclined position.

I noticed that Edward had a pained expression on his face. He sighed, then climbed out of the car slower then normal.

He came around to my side of the car and opened the door. When I looked out, I saw that Charlie, his cruiser and Bella were all in our driveway.

"Edward, I said let's go," Charlie barked and began to approach us.

"Hold on," Edward said hurriedly and pulled me up into a sitting position.

The motion of sitting up caused my stomach to become even more unsettled, so I leaned my head out the door and threw up next to the car, a little landing on Edward's shoes.

"Fell better?" he asked, about to pull me out of the car.

I put my hand up to stop him and threw up again. This time, it also came out my nose; the alcohol burned my throat and nostrils as it left my body.

"Finished?" Edward asked; I could hear the frustration in his voice.

I nodded and he helped me from the car, pulling me over the puke puddle that lay beside my door.

A soon as I was standing steadily beside Edward, Charlie walked up, grabbing Edward's arm forcefully.

"Let's go Edward, it's three in the morning; I'm tired of waiting on your fugitive ass," he grumbled.

"Charlie, please, do you really think this is necessary?" Edward asked, trying his best to get out of being hauled off to jail.

"Don't think you can talk me out of this. Half the town saw you evade an OFFICER OF THE LAW!" he hollered. "I would take anyone else straight to jail for what you did; you'll get no special privileges.

When he finished giving Edward his speech, he pulled him over to the back of the Volvo and slapped the handcuffs on.

"Charlie, seriously, I-" Edward began.

"You get the cuffs too, what would the town say if I let you off; my reputation as an officer would be ruined," Charlie finished.

"Fine," Edward sighed and gave in to the cuffs.

I had been standing there, watching the scene play out, but when Charlie busted out the cuffs, I couldn't hold back any longer.

I ran over to where he and Edward stood and took a hold of Edward's arm.

"NO, you can't take him!" I shouted.

"Jacob, get back!" Charlie yelled as he began to lead Edward to his car.

"NO!" I screamed, continuing to hold Edward's arm. "Don't go with him Edward, you have to stay here with me," I pleaded, still not quite comprehending that he had no choice in the matter.

Edward sighed deeply and looked me in the eye. "Jacob, please go inside, I have to go with Charlie; I'll be back soon," he told me softly.

Not liking what I heard, I continued to stand there and look at him.

"Jacob, I suggest you do what you're told or you'll be coming along for the ride," Charlie told me.

I stood there in shock, realization finally sinking in.

"Bella!" Charlie bellowed. "Take him inside."

Before I knew it, Bella, who I had forgotten was there, came up, grabbed my arm forcefully and started dragging me away from Edward.

"I'm sick of everyone grabbing me tonight!" I yelled, trying to rip my arm away, but was unsuccessful.

"I don't care, your stupid Jacob," she told me angrily. "And so are you!" she shouted at Edward. "You always make the worst decisions under pressure!" she finished.

"INSIDE!" Charlie boomed.

Bella continued dragging me towards our house as I watched Charlie put Edward into the back of the police car. When we reached the porch, I grabbed hold of one of the pillars and watched as Charlie backed out of the driveway. I stood there until the blue and red lights had almost faded away completely.

I hadn't noticed, but by this point, tears had begun to fall from my eyes and my hands shook with the overwhelming amount of emotions that coursed though my body. In one night, I had managed to get Edward arrested, my relationship was now on the brink of disrepair and I had helped ruin Carlisle's party. I was also unsure of what kind of hell tomorrow would bring. Finally, I realized that large icy raindrops had begun to fall from the cold winter sky.

* * *

I never realized how much of an emotional roller coaster this chapter was until I read over it. I hope it wasn't to dramatic and I hope everyone liked it. This story is finally getting of the ground, so if you want me to take it further let me know. I plan on the next few chapters taking a pretty dark turn. Thanks for reading!


	7. Troubled Waters Scene 1

**A/N-Thanks to the three of you who reviewed my last chapter, I really appreciate it. I am trying something new. Instead of taking forever and publishing huge chapters, I am going to try shorter chapters. This way, I can update the story more often so you won't have to go back and re-read things you may have forgotten. Also, I think my last chapter may have been too long for people to want to sit down and read. Let me know if you like this shorter chapter format or if you liked it the old way. **

**I am splitting this chapter up into a few parts, so not much time will pass between them. **

**Thanks for reading! **

**WARNING- Language is severe at times in this one. **

Chapter 7

Troubled Waters

The rain continued to pour as Bella drug me inside. I didn't fight, I didn't kick and I didn't scream; I had no fight left in me. In fact, at that point, I wished someone would have stabbed me, poisoned me or even sucked the blood from my feeble body, anything to put an end to my rapidly deteriorating existence.

I felt guilty for those thoughts, as well as the rest of my objectionable behavior.

As Bella helped me up the stairs, my mind became frantic. I wondered what tomorrow would bring, wondered where Edward and I stood and most importantly, wondered who was going to get my children. It was already 4:00 a.m. and I knew I was in no shape to pick them up by 9, like I had promised.

By the time I had reached the top of the steps, I was starting to panic and I felt myself gasping for air.

"Jacob, come on, breathe," Bella soothed as she pulled me into my room and guided me to the edge of the bed. "Sit."

I sat down slowly, still unable to regulate my breathing.

"You need to calm down," she said, touching my cheek, "you are way to warm, even for you."

"I can't," I cried raggedly, tears spewing from my eyes like some Charlie Brown character.

As I sat there, Bella took my jacket and shirt off, attempting to cool me off.

"Lay down," she ordered, and gently pushed me over onto my side and lifted my legs onto the bed. Without warning, she quickly undid my pants and yanked them off, leaving me in just a pair of black boxer-briefs.

"What are you doing? I hollered. I was feeling extremely uncomfortable being in this position with Bella.

"I'm trying to cool you off before you hyperventilate or something!" she told me.

I continued to lay there and stare up at her, still feeling uncomfortable.

"Jacob, chill out, it's just me," she said, pulling the sheet over me. "Now, you need to go to sleep, alright?"

"NO!" I said, starting to breathe heavily again. "What am I gong to do Bella? How am I going to get them? Edward can't get them, because I-" I stammered, but couldn't finish the sentence, it was to painful.

"I'll get them Jacob, I already told your Dad I'd be there," she told me in a voice that sounded tired.

"Does he know what happened?" I asked, my heart quickening at the prospect of my dad knowing what had happened.

"Oh yeah," she said, exhaling deeply, which I knew was a bad sign of what was to come. "After Edward decided to pretend like he was in The Fast and the Furious, Charlie went to the reservation to see if you guys were there. He stopped by your Dad's to see if he had heard from you and told him what had happened. Once he found out, he called Sam and told him to track you down," she finished.

"Great," I said, shoving my face into the pillow.

"Jake, your Dad is pissed," she told me warningly. "And about Edward; well, I don't even know where to begin," she sighed.

I didn't answer, just buried my face deeper.

"Just go to sleep, you can't do anything about it right now, so you might as well get some rest," she told me, putting her hand on my arm.

Before I even had time to close my eyes, I heard the front door open and close quickly. No sooner had the door closed and Alice was standing in my room, a displeased expression on her face.

I looked at her for a while, not knowing what to say and not really knowing why she was in my room.

"Look what you did," she said abruptly, picking my crumpled suit from the floor. "Now I have to get this cleaned, if it even can be!" she finished.

"Sorry Alice," I said weakly as I put my head back on the pillow.

"That's the last time I ever buy you anything," she said, putting the suit on a hanger. "I guess I should have known better; you can't put a dog in nice clothes and expect him to act civilized. Do I need to get you a trainer Jacob?" she asked snobbishly.

"What the fuck ever Alice. Why don't you give that little speech to your brother, he's the one acting like a dog. He drools over every bitch he lays eyes on. And you know what? I wouldn't put it past him to be humping them all either," I told her.

"Jacob, Edward is not sleeping with Corey. I know that's what you think, but he's not," she told me, her voice a bit nicer then before.

"You don't know anything; you don't see what I see, "I told her darkly.

"I did see, and I don't know why he acts like that around Corey, but I know he hasn't done anything with him," she explained in a high pitch.

"Yet?" I asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.

"I have no vision of anything having to do with Corey; besides, he can't sleep with Corey, he would probably end up killing him!" she told me matter-of-factly.

"Doesn't mean he doesn't want to," I added.

"Jacob, I don't know what he wants or what his problem is. I'm just as pissed at him as I am with you!" she shouted.

"Alice, Jacob really should be getting some sleep," Bella cut in, ending our argument.

"Fine," she signed, leaning back on the pillow next to me and crossing her arms.

"Aren't you going home?" I asked.

"NO! I have never seen Carlisle so furious and I have no desire to sit through a lecture right now," she told me.

"Me either, so if you're staying then go downstairs or soothing," I told her, not really wanting to here her nagging any longer.

"No, I have to stay right here, in case you choke on your dog droll or something." She said, using the same snobby tone from earlier.

"Shut the fuck up Alice! You're the second fucking Cullen to say something like that to me today!" I shouted, as I sat up to face her. "I'm sick of you and your bloodsucking family thinking you're better then me. Why are you even here, you wouldn't care if I choked, died or fucking exploded right in front of you and-" I continued, but was abruptly cut off by Bella pulling me back down.

"That is enough; Jacob, go to sleep, Alice, leave him alone so he can go to sleep," she said, her voice firm.

I looked from Bella to Alice, who had a pained expression on her face.

"I don't want anything to happen to you Jake, how could you say that?" she asked, putting her cold hand on my arm. "Get to sleep, we'll finish this tomorrow when everyone has calmed down," she finished.

I didn't say anything else, just pulled the sheet up so that it covered most of my head and turned on my side.

As I lay there, Bella turned off the tableside light, and then joined Alice, who still sat on the opposite side of the bed, watching me intently.

A few minutes later, I heard the TV being turned on quietly and whispering coming from Bella and Alice.

"Something is really wrong," I heard Alice whisper to Bella.

"I know, I've known for a while," she sighed.

"I know there is more that Jacob isn't telling us, but I can't see what it is," Alice whispered back.

"What makes you keep thinking Jacob's hiding something?" Bella asked.

"I am getting vague visions of Edward alone and miserable," she told Bella.

"Maybe Edward is hiding something, have you ever thought of that?" Bella questioned.

"Yes, but in these visions, Edward has anger and resentment towards Jacob although he does miss him," Alice answered.

"Well, maybe tonight has something to do with it. We just have to make sure they get through this, then, I think the vision will go away," Bella said confidently.

"I hope you're right," Alice said grimly.

"I wish you would tell us what is going on with you," Bella whispered softly, rubbing her hand over my arm.

I pretended I was asleep, not wanting to get into that conversation. As the room finally fell silent, I pondered what Alice had said. Why was Edward alone? Was he going to leave me because of this? I didn't want to face what would come when I woke up, and as I drifted off into deep sleep, I wished I could stay there forever.

* * *

Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter.


	8. Troubled Waters Scene 2

Chapter 8

Troubled Waters; Scene 2

A/N; This chapter was hard for me to write. I was trying to gauge the characters reactions, which took a while. I hope this is an enjoyable chapter. Please let me know what you think.

When I next opened my eyes, I expected to see Bella, Alice or even Edward, but when I peered from beneath my lids, the last person I expected to see was my father.

I closed my eyes quickly and opened them once more, making sure that I wasn't having a nightmare; I wasn't.

This time, when I opened my eyes, my fathers face was a lot closer then it had been just seconds ago. I buried my head in the pillow, not wanting to look into his disappointed face. Also, I felt extremely nauseous and didn't want to risk puking on him.

"Here," I heard him say quickly, and then mov to pick something up.

I peaked one eye out from the pillow and saw that he was extending the bathroom trashcan in my direction.

As I moved to grab it from him, again, the motion caused my stomach to become even more unsettled and I stuck my head in the trashcan, without having time to grab it from him first.

After what felt like forever, I finally pulled my head out of the bucket, having no other choice but to be face to face with him again.

He sat down the trashcan, a disgusted expression on his face.

"Sorry," I croaked sheepishly.

He didn't respond, instead deciding to sit there and glare at me.

I lay my head back on the pillow, not really having the energy to prop it up anymore.

"Time to get up," he said with a voice full of authority.

"Now? Can't I sleep for a little longer?" I asked; my head hurting so badly that getting up was unimaginable.

Instead of answering, he picked the alarm clock up from its place on the nightstand and thrust it in my face; it read 3:00 p.m.

I groaned inwardly and looked away.

"Don't think I wont drag you out of that bed myself," he barked, edging closer.

"I don't think I can," I whined, putting my hands over my eyes.

"You can and you will," he told me. "Now, go dump that mess out, get a shower and meet me downstairs in 20 minutes. And don't forget to brush your teeth," he finished, before wheeling from the room and slamming the door.

"Sam!" I heard him call when he reached the landing.

Next, I heard heavy footsteps quickly running up the stairs, then going back down again, this time at a slower, steadier pace.

_God, Sam's here, just what I need right now, _I thought to myself as I slowly sat up. I looked over and saw that someone had put a glass of water on the nightstand. Without thinking, I grabbed it, quickly drinking it down without taking a breath.

Once my thirst was quenched, I sat there for a moment feeling satisfied, until my stomach began to lurch.

Forgetting about my lack of energy, I quickly ran to the bathroom, making it to the toilet this time, rather than the trashcan.

Once I was finished, I sat on the bathroom floor for a while, trying to stop my head from spinning.

After the spinning had subsided, I slowly drug myself into the shower. I had to keep the water on cool, because I was burning up. I spent most of the shower sitting on the bench; standing up required to much effort.

When I finally pulled myself out of the shower, I went into my room to find some comfortable clothes.

Before I even had time to open my dresser, I heard a loud angry knock on the door.

"Let's go!" Sam boomed as he burst in, not giving me a chance to open the door.

"I can't get ready with you fucking barging in!" I snapped.

"Watch yourself Jacob, you are on very thin ice right now," he warned, stepping dangerously close to me.

"Let me finish and I'll be right down," I sighed.

"I'll wait right here," he told me, standing firm.

"Sam! I said I'd be right down!" I said sharply.

"We gave you 20 minutes, you're on my time now," he said in a low tone.

"Could you at least turn around? I have to get dressed," I asked him.

"Nothing I haven't seen before, now get dressed!" he barked, continuing to stand in the same spot.

I sighed, muttering a string of obscenities under my breath,, and threw a pair of jeans and a grey hoodie on.

"Fine, let's go!" I told him angrily.

"Grab your bucket, I don't want you puking in my car," he huffed, and then left the room with me following behind.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs, I stopped to look around.

"Where is everyone at?" I asked, mostly wondering where the kids were.

"Bella has them, now let's go!" my Dad hollered.

"Wait! Where are we going anyway? I don't want to go anywhere, I just want to get my kids an-" I tired to finish, but was cut off.

"They are in more capable hands right now," my Dad said in a snide tone.

"Yes, right now, you're primary concern is to come with us," Sam said, sounding very much like a cult leader.

I sighed, grabbed a bottle of water from he fridge and followed them out the door, wanting to get this over with so I could pick up the kids.

Sam only had to pull over for me twice before we finally made it to the reservation.

Once we arrived, we dropped my Dad off at his house.

"I thought you wanted me here so bad, aren't you coming with us?" I asked him.

"Not for this part," he told me gravely, "When you're done at Sam's, I expect you to stop here," he finished.

"Okay," I said, wanting to avoid any further arguments.

Once we dropped my Dad off, Sam and I drove the rest of the way to his house in uncomfortable silence.

I drug myself out of the car and into his house, only to be met by the entire pack and Emily, who had a plate of food in her hand.

"First things first, you need to eat," she told me, sitting the plate of grill cheese on the table along with a bowl of chicken noodle soup.

"Oh, thanks Em, bu-" I tried to protest, but was cut off by everyone in the room telling me to eat in one form or another.

"Alright! I'll eat, chill the hell out," I grumbled to everyone in the pack as I sat down at the table to eat.

"Go into the living room and give Jacob some privacy, we'll be in as soon as he is finished," Sam told everyone, making me feel like a complete baby.

"Aren't you going to give Jacob some privacy too?" I asked him sarcastically.

He sat down roughly on the chair and eyed me. "Hurry up and eat, we have a lot of things to discuss," he said sharply.

I was hungrier then I had been in a while, but I still felt nauseous from my previous escapades, so I wasn't sure what effect food would have on my empty stomach.

As I ate, Sam and Emily staring at me all the while, it hit me. With all of the previous confusion and leaving the house so quickly, I had forgotten to take my pill, which was the only reason I was able to eat. I had noticed that after taking the meds, eating was becoming almost impossible.

When I had finally finished enough for Sams liking, he grabbed the dishes, threw them in the sink and drug me off into the living room.

"First things first, this is an impromptu meeting regarding Jacob and only Jacob; all other matters will be discussed at our regular weekly meeting, understood?" Sam asked loudly; everyone nodded in agreement.

"Jacob, you have not attended a pack meeting in a month, why?" Sam asked in an authoritative voice.

"I didn't feel the need, there have been no threats in the area," I told him simply, hoping my logic would pay off.

"That doesn't matter!" Paul snapped, jumping up from his respective position on the couch, "it is important to keep in contact and on the same page, in case a threat comes up," he finished.

"Plus, we never see you any other time," I heard Seth say quietly from the floor.

"We want to see him at other times?" Leah asked sarcastically.

"Enough!" Sam growled, "Jacob, you are expected to attend pack meetings, that was part of the agreement we had when you moved off the reservation," he told me sternly.

"Sure, fine, I'll come if that's what you want," I told him, hoping he would drop the subject then.

He looked at me in bewilderment for a second. "Yeah, I want you to come, why else would I have made the agreement with you?" he asked.

"Nothing, just forget it, I'll come Ok!" I said, waving my hand at him dismissively.

"Alright," he said, dragging out the word.

"On to the next subject!" Paul barked, "the reason why we are having this damn meeting in the first place."

"Right," Sam sighed. "This meeting was called because you placed the pack, your family and the community in a great deal of danger, Jacob," Sam exclaimed

"How?" I asked, feeling like this entire thing was a little overdramatic. "If you want to give me some lecture on the dangers of alcohol, go ahead, I know I messed up, but don't act like the world is going to end because of it," I finished, crossing my arms.

"I don't think you quite get it," Sam said, coming dangerously close and placing a finger harshly on my nose.

"Enlighten me then," I scoffed.

"First of all, you are right, you did mess up. You act like it's nothing, like it's something you can just sweep under the run, well, it's not!" he snapped. "You placed your children in a vulnerable position by acting so irrationally. This is a small town, people now have their eye on you and your family."

"I understand this Sam, it's nothing I need to be told," I sighed, looking down at the floor.

"It is something you need to be told, or you wouldn't have done it!" I heard Leah chime from her position on the floor, next to Seth.

"Exactly," Sam said. "Not only did you open yourself up to scrutiny, but you made your father and this tribe look bad; we don't want to be represented in that light."

"Fine, I get it, may I please leave?" I asked, feeling an enormous wave of anxiety crash over me.

"Last, but most importantly," Sam said, pretending to ignore me, "as a shape-shifter, you are held to a certain set of responsibilities. It is unclear what could happen if you would have shifted under the influence, or if it is even possible to shift under the influence, but that is a risk this pack is not willing to take," he finished.

"He's right Jake, who knows what you could have done if you shifted when you were messed up," I heard quill speak for the first time.

I saw Embry nod in agreement.

"Not only that!" Sam snapped, "If you would have shifted in front of all those people, we would have been exposed and… I don't even know what would happen then," he sighed, sounding defeated.

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling a wave of guilt wash over me, right on top of the wave of anxiety.

"I believe you Jake, but these are important matters that needed to be discussed, before you or another member does something like this again," Sam told me sincerely

"I understand," I told him truthfully.

"Does everyone else understand the importance of this lesson?" Sam asked. "I don't want anyone else pulling this nonsense."

Everyone nodded.

"I should be going though, I have to go get lectured by Dad next, then I have to go track down my kids," I sighed, making my way towards the door.

"Good luck with your Dad, he's one tuff cookie," Seth laughed.

I shuddered at the though involuntarily, causing everyone to laugh.

"Ok Jake, see you at the next meeting," Sam reminded me. "We will be in wolf form, so make sure you eat enough; I know you haven't been phasing much lately," he finished, as I walked out the door with a nod.

At my Dad's, the mood was somber. We spent the first five minutes that I was there staring at each other in uncomfortable silence.

"Ok, just let me have it already, so we can get this over with," I sighed nervously.

"You're just not getting it Jacob. You just want me to yell at you so you can get it over with, you have no intention of actually listening or taking anything I have to say seriously," he told me

"Actually, I do get it, it's just that you can't tell me anything that I don't already know or feel," I explained, placing my elbows on the table and rubbing at my eyes in frustration.

"Alright know it all, tell me what you know," my Dad said smugly.

"Made you and the tribe look bad, put the pack in danger, put the kids in danger and put my relationship in danger," I told him, summing it up as quickly as possible.

"You can say it all you want, but you have to actually understand it and care," he told me with a look of disappointment.

"I care, I'm just tired, I feel like shit and I want to go get the kids from Bella," I told him honestly.

"I don't care how sick or tired you are the kids will be fine; you didn't seem to care much about them last night," he said in frustration.

"I do care about them; I had no intention of last night ending up how it did," I told him.

"Bull!" he shouted, slamming his hand on the table. "What did you expect when you started putting that stuff into your body? You weren't thinking about anyone but Jacob! What were you thinking by the way, I'd really love to know?" He finished, voice getting louder with each question.

"I dono, last night went really bad and things got out of hand," I told him.

"That still doesn't answer my question Jacob. Why would you make such a bad choice?" he asked, looking at me intently. "And don't tell me it was because you were drunk; you made the choice when you were sober!" he finished.

"I know I chose to drink, but I never meant to drink that much. Once I started, I just kinda lost track," I told him honestly.

"That is still no excuse to me," he said, his voice still firm.

"Dad, I know, I messed up, I really don't know what else to say, accept that I'm sorry," I pleaded, wishing he would just accept my apology.

"I know you're sorry Jacob, but I still can't get over the fact that you made such a horrible decision all because, what, you were mad at Edward?" he asked indignantly

"How do you know about all that?" I asked defensively; I really didn't want my Dad knowing all the details of my love life.

"The whole damn town knows, all thanks to the show you two put on in the parking lot. And you can thank Charlie for informing me," he said, a smug expression on his face.

"Well, you don't know the details, so I'd appreciate if you didn't talk about things you don't know," I snapped.

Without hesitation, my father wretch across the table, connecting the back of his hand to my moth. I'm sure I could have blocked him, but he caught me off guard; the last thing I ever expect was for my Dad to hit me.

I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry and I wanted to break something all at once, but instead, I sat there, a hand over my mouth in shock.

"Is that how you talk to people now Jacob?" he yelled. "Well, you sure as hell didn't learn that from me," he finished, a little quieter this time.

"NO! It's just that you don't know what happened. You keep blaming me for everything and it's not all my damn fault!" I yelled, my voice cracking with emotion. "I'm not the one who decided to have a high speed chase with Charlie," I pointed out. "And I'm not the one who left him alone so I could flirt with someone else," I finished quietly, more to myself then anyone else.

"I know it's not ALL your fault Jacob, but you are my son and I expect more from you," he told me, his voice softer then it had been since I arrived. "And Edward, I am very disappointed in him as well. What he pulled with Charlie makes my head want to explode," he finished, the softness in his voice disappearing once again.

I didn't know what to say, but I didn't have to, because, for once, my Dad was full of things

"The problem with you two is, it's all about Edward and Jacob and shit on everyone else. Neither of you care who you walk on or hurt, because it's the Edward and Jacob show and that's it," he huffed.

I nodded, knowing there was a lot of truth in his words. The thing was, that I did care; it was just very easy for Edward and I to get totally wrapped up in each other, whether for the good or the bad.

"It's just sad you had to bring all those little ones into the world and they'll never get the attention they need, because you two are so wrapped up in each other," he said, turning away from the table and wheeling into the kitchen.

I stood up then. "Dad, please don't say that, it's not true," I whispered, feeling like my heart was tearing into a million peaces.

"Bye Jacob, I've had enough for one day," he said, disappearing behind the kitchen wall.

I stood there for a while, breathing deeply and trying to compose myself.

After a few minutes, I was finally able to get myself together enough to leave.

When I opened the door and stepped out onto the porch, I was hit with an icy gust. The temperature must have dropped 20 degrees while I was inside, because I was cold and the grey hoodie was no longer enough to keep me warm.

At that moment, I realized that I didn't have my car; Sam had driven me here. I needed to get home and take my pill and then I needed to get the kids from Bella. As I walked down the steps, I opened my phone to try and find someone to give me a ride. I was just about to hit the talk button on Sam's name when I ran into something that stopped me dead in my tracks.

I snapped my phone shut and looked up, only to be face to face with Edward. I should have smelled him or sensed his presence, but I was too caught up in my thoughts.

He stood there, looking at me, his face unreadable. On one hand, I wanted to throw my arms around him; I had missed him so badly while he was… away. I couldn't stand being away from him for more then a day when he went hunting with his family, so, knowing he was stuck… in there was tearing me apart.

On the other hand, I wanted to push him away, right off the bottom step and send him tumbling onto the cold ground for acting like… a complete idiot!

So I did, I hugged him with all the force I had in my tired body. I hugged until I finally felt the ache of being without him subside, then I pushed him away.

He wasn't expecting it, and stepped backwards onto the dead grass.

"Hey," he said, grabbing my arms and pulling me gently down to where he stood. His voice and touch were much calmer then I had expected.

We stood there staring at each other for a long moment, before he finally broke the silence.

"Jacob, I need to apologize to you," he said, his tone utterly serious.

I was shocked; he was apologizing to me? I had been so wrapped up in my own faults and my own guilt, that I was expecting nothing less then a verbal tirade from him, just like I had gotten from everyone else.

"Jacob, listen, I am upset about your behavior at the party, but that doesn't excuse my actions," he continued, still very serious.

"All of them?" I asked, my voice sounding almost childlike.

"Yeah," he breathed, "all of them."

"I'm sorry too, I should have never let myself get like that. I know there is no excuse for it, but Edward, I can't stand it when you're around him. You know it kills me, even Alice saw it," I told him as I fiercely wiped the ever-present tears from my eyes.

"I know love, I won't associate with him again. I wasn't around him long at the party, but I guess you happened to see the brief conversation I had with him," he said, looking down at the ground.

"No, I didn't see the entire thing. I saw him flirting with you and touching your arm, but that was all I needed to see," I told him.

"Jacob, I remember what you said… about him flirting with me, and I definitely noticed him doing it at the party," he explained.

"See, I told you," I sniffed.

"Please Jacob, listen. I told him his behavior was unacceptable. I made it clear that he was my student and I was in a serious relationship. I also made it clear that he should not register for any of the classes I teach next semester," he finished.

"Oh!" I said, feeling completely stupid.

He pulled me in, hugging me tightly.

"I just want you to trust me," he whispered.

"I'm so sorry Edward, I ruined everything. I should have known bet-" I tried, but was cut off by Edward placing his lips on mine.

"Stop!" he said, squeezing my arms lightly. "Last night didn't go how either of us wanted and… we both dealt with it horribly. But I don't want you thinking it's all your fault, it's just as much mine," he finished.

"Edward, because of last night, because of us, my Dad, and probably everyone else thinks we're horrible parents," I cried, not trying to hide it this time.

"I don't think you're a terrible parent Jacob. I just don't want you doing that to yourself anymore. It kills me to see me hurting yourself like that," he told me.

"I know," I said, looking down at the ground.

"Lets get you out of the cold and go home," he told me as he pulled my hood up, tightening the string as if I were a child.

"So cute," he chuckled.

Despite my objection, I couldn't help but smile a little.

"Have you talked to Bella?" I asked.

"Yeah, she told me she'd bring the kids back later on this evening," he told me, knowing exactly what I was getting at.

"That's good, because, I don't think I want to face Charlie today," I said, feeling relieved.

"Yeah, let's just say I've had enough lecturing from Charlie in the last 12 hours to last me a lifetime," he sighed.

"I bet," I laughed. I couldn't help but picture the scenario.

As we walked the short distance to his car, I felt somewhat relieved. I had expected the worst between Edward and I, and like always, he surprised me. Although we were definitely not perfect, like I told Bella; he was the only one who could deal with all the shit I put him through and I was the only one who could deal with his.

I wasn't completely out of the water yet. I still had to face Edwards's family; they definitely deserved an apology. But, that would have to wait for another day. I had had enough lectures for one day and all I wanted to do was go home and spend some much needed time with my family.

I hoped that my Dad could forgive me. Christmas was only a day away and I hoped that this would all blow over by then.

I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. The next chapter or two will be more interaction and dialogue. But, there will definitely be a lot of action to come, so please stay with me :).


	9. Troubled Waters Scene 3

**Chapter 9**

**A/N: Again, sorry for the long space between updates, have had a lot of school/internship stuff to do. But, believe me, I have not forgotten about this story. I have been putting a lot of thought into it. And although this chapter is short, I feel like it was a natural ending point for it. So, please let me know what you think about it, I would really love that. **

That night, after we finally made it home, we didn't have much time to wait before Bella returned out children. To say she was in one of her best moods would be a lie. In fact, I'd go as far as to say she was standoffish.

I knew she was still upset with the both of us, so, I tried to make the exchange go as quickly as possible.

And although I could tell she was restraining a lot of her emotions, we managed to keep all necessary conversation civil, that was, until Renesmee decided to speak up.

"Mom, can I stay tonight?" she asked, just like any other time Bella dropped Willow off.

"NO!" she barked, turning to walk out the front door.

"But mom, we weren't done playing yet," she whined

"You'll have to finish another time," she said hurriedly, dragging her daughter towards the door.

"DAD! JAKE! Tell Mom I can stay!" she hollered, grabbing on to the doorframe.

Without saying a word, Edward walked over to the front door and picked his daughter up.

"You're going to go home with Mommy tonight alright?" he told her softly.

"Okay," she sighed.

"I'll see you at Grandma and Grandpa's on Christmas day alright?" he told her, giving her a kiss on the cheek and putting her back down.

Before following her Mother out the door, she ran over and gave me a quick hug goodbye.

This only infuriated Bella more.

"Renesmee! Go get in the car, I will be right there," she almost growled.

As soon as she was out the door, Bella stalked over to Edward, pointing her finger right in his face.

"I think I can handle MY daughter Edward; I don't need you butting in," she shouted.

Within seconds, Edward had drug Bella into the kitchen, before finishing their so-called conversation.

"I was under the impression it took both of us to create OUR daughter," he told her. "So, are you telling me I can't tell my own daughter goodbye?" he finished.

"You weren't worried about telling her anything last night, were you? You weren't worried where she was today, were you?" she continued at her loud volume.

"Of course I care!" he exclaimed; I could picture him running a frustrated hand through his hair. "Who do you think was the first person I called when I got out of there?" he asked, his voice beginning to rise as well.

He didn't give her time to answer, before starting up again.

"You were the first person I called, because I wanted to find out where everyone was and if they were alright."

"And you wouldn't have had to do that if you didn't go around acting like a maniac," she pointed out. "All day, the girls kept asking me where you two were. What did you want me to tell them, sorry, your Dad's in jail and Jacob just can't seem to get up today?" she snapped.

At that point, I had had enough. I knew them, and knew they could go on for hours. I also didn't like the fact that they were having this argument around Willow. Although they were in the kitchen and she was in the living room with me, I knew she could still hear them.

"Dad was in Jail?" she asked, her eyes large.

"Go upstairs, I'll be up in a little bit," I told her, not wanting her to hear anymore then she already had.

After she was upstairs, I put the twins in their swings and headed into the kitchen.

"What?" Bella snapped as I approached them.

I was too pissed to say anything, so I just snatched the pair of keys dangling from her fingertips and headed outside.

In all of her righteous glory, she forgot that she had left her daughter sitting alone in the freezing cold.

I guess the sound of the door suddenly reminded her, because she came rushing out after me as soon as it slammed.

Before she got to me, I already had Renesmee in my arms and was putting her into the car.

"Jake, why is everybody acting so weird?" she asked quietly as I strapped her in.

I sighed to myself, not really knowing what to say.

"Don't worry sweetie, no one's going to be acting weird anymore, I promise," I told her. And what I meant by that was, I wouldn't be going to parties and getting smashed anymore and her Dad wouldn't be landing himself behind bars, or, at least, I hoped not.

When I finally had Renesme settled in, I kissed her goodbye and shut the door, only to be face to face with Bella.

She thrust her hand towards me stiffly, her palm extended.

I tossed the keys into her hand; she was still glaring at me and I was giving it right back.

"What?" she spat, arms folded across her chest.

"You don't want your kid finding out about what happened, I get that. So your best solution was to send her outside in the freezing cold, then go spouting it all in front of mine?"

She scowled and ground her foot into the ground, but I could tell she didn't know what to say, so I continued.

"Everyone is just to wrapped up in their own lives to give a damn about anyone else!" I told her. "I just wish I would have realized it a lot sooner," I finished, this time in an almost inaudible whisper.

I saw Bella's stiff body slump after hearing my words, as she began to walk away.

"I'll just see ya later Jake," she murmur and sulked to her car.

As she pulled out of the driveway, I acknowledged Edward, who had been standing close by the entire time.

He knew I was not in the mood to talk, so he just walked silently with me into the house.

Once we were finally inside for the night, I was about to head upstairs, but could tell that Edward had something to say.

"What?" I asked softly, my hand resting on the bottom of the banister.

"I don't know what to do," he said softly.

I could tell he was upset, but I really wasn't sure what he meant.

"What you said outside was right, we are all just to self-absorbed," he said, running his usual hand through his hair.

But, before I could say anything, he continued.

"I'm sorry I let Willow hear all those things between Bella and I, and I'm sorry I put our family in this situation, and, I'm just sorry," he finished quietly.

'Edward, just stop," I said, walking up to him and placing my hands on his shoulders.

"What do I do now Jacob, how do I fix this?" he asked.

I was upset that he and Bella decided to air their dirty laundry in front of Willow, but I could also tell he was sincere in his apology. I was also scared that Edward was asking me what to do.

I never told him this, but I always assumed Edward had the answers to most problems. I never really thought about why I assumed this, I guess it was because of his age.

To be completely honest, I had no idea how to fix the mess we had created, but I didn't want to let him know that. It was rare for Edward to come right out and ask me for advice and I didn't want to let him down.

"Go up there and spend some time with her, have some fun, read her a book or whatever she wants to do," I told him.

"What are you going to do?" he asked; I could tell he was nervous about being alone with Willow.

"I have a few things I need to do and I need some thinking time," I told him, "but, I'll be in a while and we can talk to her about everything," I said, hoping I was making the right decision.

He nodded, and I couldn't help feeling bad for him; he was so lost and so was I.

So, there it is. I have a pretty good plan for the rest of the fic, though, I'm kind of having a hard time putting together this next chapter. The next part deals with the confrontation with Carlisle, and I'm a little lost on how he will react. Once I can figure that out, the rest of the story is pretty mapped out.

Let me know what you thought of this chapter and if anyone has any suggestions for the next one, feel free to let me no. Thanks for reading.


	10. Home Improvement, or Maybe Not

**Chapter 10 Home Improvement, or Maybe Not**

**Ok, so no, I haven't forgotten about this story, I've just had terrible writers block. I have most of the story lined out, but this part is hard to write, because there isn't a lot of action/drama. This is more of the transitional part of the fic, the really good stuff will be coming soon. Thanks to the reviewers, those last few got me motivated again :). **

* * *

I spent the next hour feeding the twins, giving them a bath and putting them to bed. Once they were settled in, I went and sat on my bed, relaxing for a moment, before having to go try and explain things to my daughter.

Before leaving the room, I grabbed my school bag from under the bed and rummaged around until I found what I was looking for. It was the first time I had forgotten to take my pill since Carlisle had given them to me. Quickly, I took two from the pack (one for now and one for the one I had skipped earlier) and popped them in my mouth, washing them down with the bottle of water I had been carrying throughout the day.

Putting the pills back in my bag and shoving it back under the bed, I left the room and walked down the hall to were Willow and Edward were reading in her room.

I stood there, watching them for a while; him reading a page and her reading the next, until she finally spotted me.

"Hey, you come read some pages," she said, scooting over to make a place for me on the bed.

I sat down, squishing Willow in between Edward and I on her tiny bed.

We all leaned against the wall and continued passing around the book until we had reached the end.

"Can we read another one?" she asked, hopping off the bed in search of another book.

"Not tonight, we need to talk to you about some things," Edward told her, gently pulling her back onto the bed.

"About why you went to jail?" she asked, making Edward visibly cringe.

"Yes, about that, " he answered stiffly.

"Well?" she asked, looking up at him with large eyes.

"Well, you know how I like to drive fast? " he started.

"Yeah, it's really fun," she laughed.

"Well, last night it wasn't very fun. I was going way to fast and was told to stop, but I chose not to," he told her.

"You didn't stop?" she yelled, again hopping off the bed.

"No," he told her simply.

"That's bad Dad," she told him matter-of-factly.

"I know, and that's why I had to go to jail to think about what I did," he told her, in terms that she would understand.

"Like when you put me in time out?" she asked.

"Yes, but it's more serious for grown-up's, so promise you'll never go there," he told her, very seriously.

"Promise"

"Good, now enough of that, it's time for you to go to sleep; tomorrow is Christmas Eve," he said, standing up from the bed.

I went to stand up too, but immediately felt dizzy fallowed by a wave of nausea.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked.

"Nothing, just really tired," which was part of the truth, I was in fact, very tired.

"Well come on, I'll tuck you in too," he said, extending his hand to help me up. Although it was just a loving gesture, I was glad for it, because, without it, I was almost sure I would have fallen flat on my face.

Once I was standing, I felt a lot better; it was the transition from sitting to standing that was getting to me.

At least that was until I started walking, which was immediately met with the nausea and dizziness from before.

"Jacob?" Edward asked with a concerned expression.

"I just wana go bed," I mumbled, leaning most of my weight on his arm.

He signed and held onto me as a lumbered down the hall to our room.

"I could have just carried you, you know," he grumbled, once I was seated on the bed.

"I can handle it," I told him, flopping over onto the bed.

"Yeah, looks like it," he said.

"Baby, just get these pants off me, I'm roasting," I ordered.

"I think you can handle it," he smirked, taking his own clothes off in the process.

I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest.

Still wearing the same smirk, Edward walked over and unfastened my jeans, ripping them off with warp speed.

"I didn't say rip me halfway off the bed in the process," I laughed, adjusting myself back to a comfortable position.

"I'm not done with you yet," he said in a low voice.

"Oh really?" I asked, looking at him quizzically.

"Arms!" he ordered

I held them out, and within an instant, I was shirtless.

"Took you long enough," I teased, lying back on the bed.

Without a word, Edward crawled onto the bed, placing his cool body atop my heated one; I half expected to see steam rise from between us.

I felt the refreshing touch of his cool cheek nuzzle mine as I relaxed further into the mattress. My eyes were becoming heavier by the second, but I still had a few things I wanted to get off my chest.

"Thank you for talking to Willow, I feel like you took all the blame for what happened," I told him, while stroking his hair idly.

He let out a sharp sign and I could feel his body stiffen slightly.

"I didn't want to tell her any of it," he said pointedly. "But, since she overheard my big mouth, I had no choice."

"Yeah, but I feel like you took all the bla-" I tried to say, but was abruptly cut off.

"Jacob! Do you want her to find out?" he asked sharply.

"No!"

"Do you think it would help anything if she knew?" he continued.

"No," I said, letting my hand fall from his hair to the bed, as what little energy I had left my body.

"Then let it be," he whispered. kissing my cheek and lying down beside me.

"K," I mumbled, as I felt my eyes fall shut for the final time.

ing


	11. Rebuilding Broken Bridges: Part I

**Chapter 11**

** Rebuilding Broken Bridges**

** Part I**

**I know it has been a ridiculously long time since i have updated this story. I have not had a computer in quite a long time, but still, have not forgotten about this story. I hope at least someone is still interested in it after all this time :). Please review, it is very helpful to me and I appreciate it greatly. **

The next morning, I awoke to a little body jumping and flailing about my bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked, exasperated.

Instead of answering me, she continued jumping, landing right on top of me.

Deciding very quickly that all chances of going back to sleep were over, I pulled both of her legs out from under her, sending her crashing down onto the bed.

"HEY!" she yelled, but was quickly quieted by me covering her head with a large pillow. After a few seconds of her screaming and flailing, I removed the pillow.

"That was not fair!" she told me, crossing her arms in annoyance.

"Not fair? You're the one who ambushed me!" I said, acting hurt.

"Stop pouting, I'm the vixen here," she said, a very serious expression on her face.

I couldn't help but to burst out into laughter. "You mean victim?" I asked, continuing to laugh and wipe tears from my eyes.

"Same thing," she huffed, arms still crossed.

"No, it totally isn't," I told her, laughing even harder at her misuse of the word. "Have you been watching Law and Order reruns with Charlie again?"

"Yeah, that's all he watches, well, that and sports," she told me.

"So, why are you the victim" I asked, my laughter finally starting to subside.

"Because! I've had to put up with the babies yelling for like 2 hours." She told me.

"What, why, where's your Dad?" I asked quickly, all humor being replaced with worry.

"He left at eight; he had a lot of stuff to do," she explained.

"Eight, well what the hell time is it now?" I asked, whipping around to look at the alarm clock, which read 10:08 a.m. "Shit, we have to get movin!" I exclaimed, jumping out of bed and running over to my dresser. Quickly, I changed into the first thing I saw, a black long sleeve t-shirt and a pair of jeans. As I was about to exit the room, I looked over and saw Willow still sitting on the bed.

"Go get dressed," I said, pulling her off the bed.

"I want to get a bath first," she whined, pulling back against my grip.

"No time right now, bring your bath stuff and you can get one at Grandmas house," I told her.

"NO! I want to get it now," she protested, dropping to the floor to try and get out of my grip.

I quickly turned around, pulling her to her feet as I bent down to her level. "I don't have time for your attitude today, so when I tell you to do something, I want it done right away, do you understand me?"

She shook her head, looking like she was about to burst into tears.

"Good, now please go get dressed, we have a lot of things to do today and we are already running late," I told her, my voice softening a bit.

"No, you are late, because you wanted to sleep all day!" she yelled and ran out of the room into her own.

At that point, I was so frustrated with her, I didn't bother to follow; we both needed some time to cool off.

I went into the twins room and immediately felt terrible. Although they were both now sound asleep, their cheeks were covered in little tearstains.

It was strange, usually, I would wake up at their first peep, but not this time. Apparently, taking two doses of meds at once was enough to knock me out cold. I'd have to ask Carlisle what I should do if I ever missed another pill, well that is, if he ever spoke to me again. At that thought, I cringed and tried to push it out of my mind for the time being.

I gently picked Ruby up, trying my best not to wake her. For a few minutes, I just held her, wishing I could stay home and hold them all day long, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

As I put her down on the changing table, she woke up and wiped at her sleepy eyes. To my surprise, she didn't start screaming, instead, she decided to make little squealing noises and kick her arms and legs, making it almost impossible to change her.

Once I finally got Ruby changed, I gave her some kisses and put her in her swing. As I got Liza out of her crib, Willow came stomping in the room, immediately waking her up.

"Thanks for that," I said sarcastically.

Of the two, Liza was the one who liked to scream her lungs out. Edward always said she took after me; I don't know what he was talking about…

As I tried to quiet her down, I saw Willow sitting on the floor glaring at me intently.

"Stop looking at me like that, you look like that creepy kid from The Ring," I told her. Unfortunately, her uncle Emmett let her watch it, along with a bunch of other horror movies, which, is why he isn't aloud to watch her unsupervised anymore. I probably shouldn't have said that to her, but right now, she was seriously getting under my skin.

"STOP!" she yelled, covering her ears. "I hate that movie, it's to scary."

"Then stop sitting there glaring at me. Make yourself useful and get me a warm washcloth, so I can wash their faces."

Once I finally had the twins ready, I quickly went and brushed my own hair and teeth, took my meds and ate a quick Pop Tart.

"Did you eat?" I asked Willow, as I took my pastry from the toaster.

"Yes, Dad gave me cereal before he left."

"He fed the babies too, right?"

"Duh," she said, rolling her eyes.

"So, where the hell is he?" I asked, my patience beginning to fade.

"He said he had a lot of stuff to do and he'd be gone all day," she told me.

"What? He had a ton of stuff he could have helped me with today; what did he say he was doing?" I asked, completely irritated by this point.

She just shrugged her shoulders and continued coloring.

I grabbed my phone, pressing send on his name.

"He isn't going to answer, he has his phone off, said he was busy and didn't want anyone to bother him."

"Why didn't he tell me?" I asked, throwing my phone on the table in frustration.

"I told him to, but he said you'd be mad," she informed me.

"Well, he was right, but there's not much I can do about it now," I said, as I put the twins in their little penguin jackets.

"I thought you didn't like those?" she said as we walked out the door.

"I don't, but Grandma bought them and gets upset if they aren't wearing them," I told her, buckling the twins into their seats. "I hope she gets them new ones for Christmas," I trailed off.

As I started the drive to Edwards parents house, my phone rang, only adding to my frustration.

"Hello," I answered, not really trying to hide my annoyance.

"Where are you?" I heard Alice shriek.

"On my way," I told her, exasperated.

"You were suppose to be here an hour a-" she continued, but I cut her off before she could finish.

"Alice, I am on my way, be there soon," I said sharply, immediately ending the phone call.

As I threw the phone into the console, I noticed yet again, a pair of flashing lights in my rearview mirror.

"No fucking way," I mumbled udder my breath, as I pulled to the side of the road.

I rolled down my window, only to be greeted by the stern face of the last person I wanted to see at the moment, Charlie Swan.

"I saw you on that cell phone Jacob, don't think I didn't," he greeted.

"Yep, you caught me," I told him, leaning back into my seat and folding my arms.

"Well, don't do it," he said, matter-of-factly. "You have kids in the car, and besides, it's the law!"

"Right, got it, sorry," I told him, wanting to get the hell out of there as fast as possible.

"Right, well, I better not see it again, got that?" he asked sarcastically.

I nodded, keeping my mouth shut, before something stupid came out.

"You freakin people are unbelievable," he mumbled and was about to walk away, when Willow decided to open her big mouth.

"Hey Charlie!" she yelled, leaning over me and waving furiously.

"Hey sweetie," he said, walking back over to the car.

I gave her my best, shut up, we have to go look, which, was completely ignored.

"Are you ready for Christmas tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yep, I made everyone cards," she told him cheerfully.

"Well, I have something for you too," he told her.

"Awesome!"

"Well, have to get back to work, see ya later," he told her, completely ignoring me.

As I re-started the car, I was so pissed; I had to grip the steering wheal tightly to keep my hands from shaking.

"Are you okay Daddy?" Willow asked, her eyes growing large.

"Yeah," I said quickly, trying to focus on staying calm.

"Are you going to turn into the big wolf again?" she asked out of nowhere.

"No," I told her, hoping I was right. She had a basic understanding of the whole (wolf thing). I didn't like keeping things from her, so, Edward and I took her into the forest one day and showed her out respective abilities, aside from the blood drinking, that could wait until she was older.

'Why do you ask?"

"Cuz, when you changed into the big wolf in the woods with Dad, you were shaking, just like now," she explained.

"Well," I sighed, deciding weather or not to tell her the truth. In the past, my Dad and Alice, especially, had criticized me for being to open with her. But, I figured, why change it now; it had been working for me so far. "Right now, I really feel like it, but it's not very convenient at the moment," I told her.

"Why do you want to right now?" she asked, curiously.

"Because, I'm upset and turning into the "Big wolf" would help me calm down," I explained to her, feeling myself finally beginning to relax.

"Are you upset because of me?" she asked, looking sad.

"Nah, I just have a lot to do today and certain people aren't helping," I sighed, pulling into the long driveway.

"You mean Charlie?" she grinned, knowingly.

I just smirked and turned off the car.

"I feel a little better now, thanks," I said, putting my arm around her and pulling her into a hug.

She sighed, hugging me reluctantly. "Sure," she said dryly.

"Love you," I told her, kissing the top of her head.

She sighed again and squirmed back to her side of the car. "Love you too," she huffed, getting out of the car and mumbling about hating mush.

I chuckled to myself and got the twins out of the car.

"It's about time," Alice called, opening the front door of the house and fluttering down the steps, Esme following closely behind.

I sighed inwardly and looked up, only to be met with a sad smile from Esme as she took both baby sears from my hands and began walking towards the house.

"Come inside Willow, its time we start on the Cookies for tomorrow," she said sweetly as Willow scurried off behind her

As the front door closed behind them, I looked down at Alice who had been standing nearby looking at me intently for the past few minute.

Before I knew it, she swiftly closed the gap between us, embracing me in a tight hug.

I leaned down a little, hugging her back. "Hey Alice, " I said softly as the hug ended.

"Hey dumbass," she laughed softly.

I smirked, figuring I'd at least let her have that one.

"Whatever, you know you still love me," I said innocently as I began walking with her towards the house.

**A/N: My goal was to better develop the relationship between Jacob and Willow in this chapter. i wanted to portray Jacob as a young parent, who although has flaws, cares very deeply for his family. **

**The next chapter will reveal where Edward ran off to and how the Cullen family reacts to Jacob after seeing him for the first time after the incident. **


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